mastodon
4.5.7
Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody)
Joe Kent Resigns in Protest of Starting Wars Against Brown People Abroad Instead of at Home: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/12/joe-kent-resigns-in-protest-of-starting-wars-against-brown-people-abroad-instead-of-at-home/
Millionaire Tax Already Working: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/10/millionaire-tax-already-working/
Local Plant Addict Just Signs Paycheck Over Directly to Swansons Nursery: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/10/local-man-just-signs-paycheck-over-directly-to-swansons-nursery/
RE: @TheNeedling@newsie.social
“We here in Lynnwood want to protect all of our undocumented residents as well as those who want the fact that they had to live in Lynnwood for some reason to stay undocumented.”
Lynnwood Removes Flock Cameras to Protect Identities of People Who Have to Live in Lynnwood: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/26/lynnwood-removes-flock-cameras-to-protect-identities-of-people-who-have-to-live-in-lynnwood/
Bill Gates Clarifies He Only Hung Out with Child Sex Trafficker for Fun: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/14/bill-gates-clarifies-he-only-hung-out-with-child-sex-trafficker-for-fun/
Washington Considers Billionaire Axe: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/13/washington-considers-billionaire-axe/
The Next Titanic? This Couple on a Bremerton Ferry is Raw-Dogging in a 2002 Toyota Corolla: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/03/the-next-titanic-this-couple-on-a-bremerton-ferry-is-raw-dogging-in-a-2002-toyota-corolla/
Seattle Couple Plans Destination Wedding for West Seattle: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/09/seattle-couple-plans-destination-wedding-for-west-seattle/
Seattle Begins Ghosting Rest of Nation by Acting Weird Ahead of Valentine’s Day: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/07/seattle-begins-ghosting-rest-of-nation-by-acting-weird-ahead-of-valentines-day/
RE: @TheNeedling@newsie.social
“Sure, most folks can hear your standard ‘pa-pa-pop-pop-whiz’ and know it’s a firework, but others are absolutely sure it’s a homeless Rambo walking around with an M60 and fully loaded bandolier—for them we have the NextDoor AudioBallistics Certification Program."