Luanna

Question! Does anyone know of any text writing mobile apps that are actually private and do not share data? I use something on PC for that but it isn't available on mobile. I would prefer something that allows for more than one document too.

Potential Luannas. Minus any stripes on the legs yet and arm details. But i like these shapes.

I am very unpracticed with drawing humans and I drew this fella from memory as my warm-up. I tried lol.

Oh darn that's right i have to figure out how to get my website working again with nekoweb with my own URL.

Huh... Suddenly realizing the way I feel lately could be answered by framing it as a hunger for dopamine as if it is low. And I was told that this is why I have ADHD and why antidepressants never worked for me.. I guess that's validation in some weird way but it doesn't help with these annoying things I've been dealing with the past two weeks.
Makes it hard to respond to messages when I want to or do the things I need to. I keep longing for something to happen or to get something and I'm always tired and I deeply desire positive comments about music or art I wanna make or finish. Also it's hard to focus at work because of these things lately.
I guess this might be ADHD maybe. But I don't see any examples of this from others except on a single random reddit post lol.

Random idea for some sort of spiked scales at the base of the tail to border off the tapered end of the white belly but also get close to the butt feathers I once drew. Nooot sure if this is something that'll stick or not but it's an interesting idea maybe.

I really need to set up that spare pc soon so i can play with Linux and see if my VSTs i like will work on it or not. If it does work then I may consider swapping at this point. But everything hinges on if I can get FLStudio and plugins I use to work good enough or not.

Strange how a lot of things are starting to make sense just by having the revelation of an actual ASD diagnosis now. I dont want to give myself "excuses" (a fear that exists due to internet yelling at folks for using their mental health as an excuse often in the Tumblr days due to people being so young then and not knowing how to process emotions and hormones lol).

It's like getting a new eyeglass prescription, suddenly looking through this new lens is making a lot of sense and adding clarity to my weird behaviors my whole life and explains why I was the "social outcast" having not been raised with being neurodivergent in mind.

I still don't know if I will inform my family or not because they rarely take me seriously. But on the off chance that they do I wonder if it would help lessen their frustrations with me or not.

I struggle greatly with a desire to want to be liked and appreciated and this takes on many shapes and changes depending on the context.

Example: I play FFXIV and while i play for fun and want to have fun, i want to be ""good"" so others appreciate having me around or even maybe a desire for others to look up to me.

I tie my "worth" to being "cool" within any group i want to be in and it's not achievable but then it makes me believe i am not good at anything.
I want to be liked by others is what i mean and unfortunately that drives a lot of what i do even with things i genuinely love bu myself.

Something to note is i have horrible self esteem. I want to improve it but have made such little progress in these years.

I don't know how to tackle this in an attempt to improve and feel better.

I wish i knew how to shake these debt collectors. I don't wanna give them the money (also can't figure out who it was to now), and some of this is years old.
For years they have been calling me non-stop and I'm pretty sure one of them is a scam too due to garbled audio. Wish i knew if i could legally get rid of them for it being so old or I need to just wait.

ADHD impatience has finally got a grip around me about Nintendo's slab 2.

Does anyone need a desk clamp vesa mount? Just cover the shipping costs (from US) and it can be yours! Nothing is wrong with it. I assembled it once and found out my hands are too weak to tighten it properly and it was too large for my desk anyway. It's a Pixio PSW1S Wave (Black).

I am both looking forward to and not looking forward to having to clean my room. Gotta go through my closet to see if I can arrange things better since im getting a file cabinet with the goal to get rid of a plastic bin or two. If i still have energy I'd like to go on even a short bike ride but we'll seee

Trike acquired today yippie!

My roommates both got bikes and I have been wanting to get an exercise bike but never considered a real thing. But, I do not know how to ride a bike anymore, and I am too scared about falling off. The existence of trikes was brought to my attention and I am hoping to find a second-hand one that I can get soon.

I am cringe but ignoring that for the time being while I draw some non-existent UT AU character ;;;

Human art WIP jumpscare! Sorry my human art is not as practiced. It's my FFXIV WoL! I am trying to finish this tonight or tomorrow and somehow get a rush print job over the weekend.