Brought spices on a plane, call me a thyme traveler
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Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
mastodon
4.7.0-beta.1
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad.
Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
2513
Followers
224
Following
50
Posts
Joined March 30, 2017
Alarmingly Bad Masto account:
Just My Toots:
Posts
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Cake Pop Demon Hunters
is that anything
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I don’t know if heaven exists, but hell is real and we made it ourselves
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
From the people that brought you “Moderate Enthusiasm” and “Somewhat Interested” comes
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I’m at the coooooooombination Dunkin’ Donuts Papa Gino’s
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
“I feel the need, the need for meth” just doesn’t have the same ring to it
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
This plushie is my spirit animal
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
MY DAD: “You know what I’ve been doing when your mom goes to bed at like 10? I hop onto YouTube and watch drone tutorials and 3D printing videos. Even throw them up on the big TV and watch them.”
ME: “Dad, it would have been less weird if you told me you just watched porn at that hour”
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
BABYSITTER: Whatcha got there, little man?
BABY HITMAN: A mystery mouseketool. *cocks pistol* It’s a surprise tool that can help us later
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@amiserabilist@beige.party
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@GayDeceiver@mstdn.social
@GayDeceiver@mstdn.social beating the odds
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
In my defense, I didn’t think I’d make it this far
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Hammock! At the Disco
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I, too, talked with Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
BOXING TRAINER: Bob and weave! Bob and weave!
ME, NOT YET COMFORTABLE ENOUGH AT THE BOXING GYM TO USE NICKNAMES: Robert and Weaver! Robert and Weaver!
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
ME: Sorry, lost my self-driving car of thought for a second
WIFE: Isn’t it “train of thought”?
ME: *watches internally as the self-driving car of thought in my head runs over my inner child and spontaneously catches fire*
ME: No.
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@IAmDannyBoling@mstdn.social
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Don’t repeat the same mistakes
Make newer, more bewildering mistakes
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
We did it, America, we did the meme
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@GayDeceiver@mstdn.social
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Are you hungry at 3 AM? Do you have too many teeth? Come to Waffle House and square up, motherfucker
Waffle House: Your Pit Stop On The Road To Valhalla™
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@James@beige.party
@James@beige.party it was
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I was hooked on phonics once. The withdrawals were brutal.
Went completely nonverbal for a few weeks.
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@tehfishman@ioc.exchange
@tehfishman@ioc.exchange a whole grilled cheese as a top bun. A whole grilled cheese as a bottom bun. Cheeseburger in between
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I am a simple man
If your restaurant’s menu has a burger that uses grilled cheeses as the burger bun, I’m going to fucking order it
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I really hope I never become lactose intolerant later in life
If shitting my pants is the price I have to pay to eat ice cream, I’m worried that’s not enough of a deterrent
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
FINANCIAL ADVICE, 2006: Take your leftover monthly income and invest it in a diversified market index and watch it grow over time
FINANCIAL ADVICE, 2026: Bet on yourself winning games of Russian Roulette on Kalshi. It’s win-win!
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
The Woke Mob, but it’s just like the regular mob so they respect your pronouns or whatever when they bust your kneecaps for not paying them protection money
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@HappyCrow13@mastodon.social
@HappyCrow13@mastodon.social that’s the real bitch move right there
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@ytscorp@mstdn.social
@ytscorp@mstdn.social bitch, bitch plus, and bitch premium, now at the bitch pump
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@HamonWry@mastodon.world
@HamonWry@mastodon.world oh god that sounds painful! Very sorry Ham!
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@khleedril@cyberplace.social
@khleedril@cyberplace.social to the nearest Bitch Store
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@GGMcBG@mstdn.plus
@GGMcBG@mstdn.plus it’s a bitch
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Tired of being a Basic Bitch?
Upgrade to Bitch+ for just $5.99/month
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
“Say one good thing about this administration”
Well I guess I no longer wonder what I’d do with the Death Note if I ever got it. That’s not nothing.
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
If it’s your first orgy and you’re nervous just picture everybody clothed
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
BROKE: Reading the card explains the card
WOKE: Eating the card consumes the card
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
ME: Blood pressure is just blood force divided by blood area
DOCTOR: These numbers are really concerning can you take this seriously
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
AI only seems useful if you’re used to being useless
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@dbsalk@mastodon.social
@GreatBigTable@mastodon.social @dbsalk@mastodon.social I look forward to disappointing you both at some point
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@marioostolaza@mstdn.social
@marioostolaza@mstdn.social just going for the high score
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
[wine tasting]
SOMMELIER 1: *sips* Hmm, I’m not detecting any overtones or undertones, but there are definitely some mighty mighty bosstones
SOMMELIER 2: *nodding* That’s the impression that I get
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
I hope someone in the Artemis crew shouted “CANNONBALL” just before splashdown
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Oh shit oh fuck I was supposed to be on the Artemis I knew I was forgetting something fuck fuck fuck
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@LibertyForward1@beige.party
@LibertyForward1@beige.party Oh no!
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
TIKTOK AD: You’ve been drinking water wrong this whole time!
ME, SUDDENLY WORRIED: WHAT HOLE WAS I SUPPOSED TO PUT IT IN???
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
Replying to
@grvsmth@lingo.lol
@grvsmth@lingo.lol Five Guys enter. No Guys leave
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
No Burger Kings, No Burger Gods, Only Burger Man
Jon Baker
@JonBaker@mastodon.social
Geek, father, artist, and lover of all things comedy. Despite my better judgement, I draw the webcomic Alarmingly Bad. Mostly here to joke and shitpost. Comics over on the Alarmingly Bad Masto account!
mastodon.social
The time it takes AI to generate answers and images should be called “sloppy seconds”