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Certified Goat Authenticator

@CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social
mastodon 4.7.0-beta.1
  • Open on mastodon.social

One of the finest things in life is owning your own magnificent Caprinae, but what if you do not possess a genuine quadruped? Put lingering doubts to rest and have your stock authenticated by a certified professional!

3 Followers
26 Following
5 Posts
Joined November 12, 2023
Excuse I some day hope to use:
"Isn't there something, anything, you can do?" they asked urgently. "No," I replied. "There are just too many pelicans."
Achievement:
Proud 2nd place winner of The 2012 Cotton Ball Deathmatch

Posts

Open post
CertifiedGoatAuthenticator
Certified Goat Authenticator @CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social · Aug 02, 2026
Certified Goat Authenticator
@CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social

One of the finest things in life is owning your own magnificent Caprinae, but what if you do not possess a genuine quadruped? Put lingering doubts to rest and have your stock authenticated by a certified professional!

mastodon.social
Replying to @Enalys@mastodon.zergy.net
@Enalys@mastodon.zergy.net And in the hidden panel we see only Cro and Macro remain, with Macro looking a little less hungry.
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Open post
CertifiedGoatAuthenticator
Certified Goat Authenticator @CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social · Jul 07, 2026
Certified Goat Authenticator
@CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social

One of the finest things in life is owning your own magnificent Caprinae, but what if you do not possess a genuine quadruped? Put lingering doubts to rest and have your stock authenticated by a certified professional!

mastodon.social
Replying to @medieval_illuminations@mastodon.social
@medieval_illuminations@mastodon.social Guess I can cross off eating red licorice from today's list.
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Open post
CertifiedGoatAuthenticator
Certified Goat Authenticator @CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social · Jun 08, 2026
Certified Goat Authenticator
@CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social

One of the finest things in life is owning your own magnificent Caprinae, but what if you do not possess a genuine quadruped? Put lingering doubts to rest and have your stock authenticated by a certified professional!

mastodon.social
Replying to @Natasha_Jay@tech.lgbt
@Natasha_Jay@tech.lgbt I fear that some day the overlord canines from space are going to see one of our videos like this, and we are all going to be in deep, deep trouble.
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Open post
CertifiedGoatAuthenticator
Certified Goat Authenticator @CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social · May 03, 2026
Certified Goat Authenticator
@CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social

One of the finest things in life is owning your own magnificent Caprinae, but what if you do not possess a genuine quadruped? Put lingering doubts to rest and have your stock authenticated by a certified professional!

mastodon.social
Replying to @kplx@mastodon.social
@kplx This could be a fun t-shirt print to wear out in public; it has a lightness to it the world can use more of.
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Open post
CertifiedGoatAuthenticator
Certified Goat Authenticator @CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social · Apr 25, 2026
Certified Goat Authenticator
@CertifiedGoatAuthenticator@mastodon.social

One of the finest things in life is owning your own magnificent Caprinae, but what if you do not possess a genuine quadruped? Put lingering doubts to rest and have your stock authenticated by a certified professional!

mastodon.social
Replying to @medieval_illuminations@mastodon.social
@medieval_illuminations@mastodon.social Alternative ALT text: Rabbit receives back pain relief from a practicing masseuse owl.
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