Quaap

quaap@toot.io

Rural transplant, leftish, recovering knowitall, recovering dipshit, dad, transparent, code monkey, metal fan, and so introverted I do not appear on film.Like a casino worker wearing boxing gloves, I try, but I just can't deal.<a href="https://toot.io/tags/nobots" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#nobots</a> <a href="https://toot.io/tags/noindex" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#noindex</a>

Posts

Post #4434814
Hey brain: I'm glad that, despite there being "no time to panic", you put in the effort and we got there anyway
Post #4235286
Sorry to break the illusion, but I've been secretly not a smart person this whole time
Post #4179066
Due to a typo, I gained 15 pounds by intermittent feasting
Post #2513264
So when did absolutely everything stop making sense for everybody else?
Post #2140808
What unit of measurement do metric people use to brag about their dicks?
Post #2140805
Me at the talent show: &quot;This is really my only talent&quot; I say meekly, while nervously demonstrating that thing I learned once, so many years ago... People scream &quot;Put that away!!&quot; Others yell: &quot;Call the police!&quot; Someone near the back, in very quiet latin: &quot;Notify the Vatican&quot;
Post #2090721
Sure, sex is great and all, but have you ever tried pretending you&#39;re not home when someone knocks on your door?
Post #1860642
I use self-deprecation as a defense mechanism. I also squirt ink out of my ass and dart away when surprised
Post #1776295
Yes, motorcycle riders, I do want to hear your motorcycle at all times when you&#39;re within a 5-mile radius of me. Normal annoying traffic noises aren&#39;t loud enough, so I need to know that you are having compensatingly good time shifting gears to get to a dumb top speed much faster when you are half a city away from me
Post #1649526
If it&#39;s tit for tat, the one offering tat is getting a much better deal
Post #1626903
On a scale from [fart noise] to [kazoo squawk], how&#39;s your day going?
Post #1626901
Sam and Al are quantum leaping all over the place right now trying to put right all this crap
Post #1626900
Hi, I&#39;m Nicole, the crime dog
Post #1626897
Imagining trump and putin in that scene from titanic and putin is holding out trump&#39;s arms and then trump says &quot;I&#39;m king of the world!&quot; and then they kiss.
Post #1564872
Wow, I was so young and stupid. Now I&#39;m much older
Post #1185647
Pronouncing &quot;Menards&quot; like a pirate who got punched in the crotch
Post #1180547
🎵 It&#39;s the end of the world as we know it, and I&#39;m. So. Tired.
Post #941454
I normally don&#39;t trust online personality quizzes, but this one seems to be pretty accurate (borrowed from @Lana)
Post #888559
New @acollierastro video, https://youtu.be/UnpFu5k-o3A
Post #684836
@sohan Boobies with feet?! What a country!
Post #684835
Has anyone ever actually met Art Deco?
Post #684833
&quot;Painstaking&quot;...
Post #684832
Slow part: shove me in the shallow wa&#39;er, before I get too deep
Post #684830
Who died and made you King? ... Oh, I&#39;m sorry, your majesty
Post #684829
Assuming you don&#39;t work weekends, which is better?
Post #597500
Please sir, it&#39;s my decimal system: it&#39;s all dewey
Post #597498
Boooots! Muddy boooots!
Post #597496
Doing a search for &quot;sexy minecraft skin&quot; is nothing but a low-poly PG good time https://noai.duckduckgo.com/?q=sexy+minecraft+skin&amp;noai=1&amp;iar=images
Post #597490
Is there a phone number or website I can go to cancel my subscription to 2026?
Post #597489
Celebrate International Women&#39;s Day by buying everything you can from a broad