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• Post #3375890

  Procrastinating doing actual work by looking at /r/TransBreastTimelines and now I am paralyzed by fomo and longing. I should have gotten up and made coffee instead.

• Post #3301474

  Question for the ladies who started HRT at 40+. What are the odds that I could still boymode for 2 years on HRT?

• Post #2031935

  My therapist told me that what I want/need more than physical changes is self acceptance, not just of me once transition is "done" but now and and every stage in between. I still have a lot of room to grow there, and thinking of that as a step in and of itself reframes other advice like to take my time and enjoy the progress I've made in being able to express my womanhood. Maybe this is The Big Hangup I haven't been able to identify? Funnily enough I can't remember what she...

• Post #1763830

  I want to be me.

• Post #1763829

  The wife and I did full makeup together just for the hell of it and just ourselves while we relax and watch TV 😁. Stressful but fun.

• Post #1763828

  I did a thing and showed up to therapy this week as Katie, even changed my name in the video app. Started the session nervous as heck but by the end I was feeling excited. Why excited, I don't know, but it's a good feeling.

• Post #1763827

  When I was falling in love with my wife the words "I love you" would appear on the tip of my tongue ready to say, but it was early on so I'd stop and say something like "I really like you" lol. The past few weeks have been pretty good mental health wise, and I've noticed new words trying to form and be said out loud, "I want to transition".

• Post #1763826

  My wife and I had another long discussion last night about trans stuff and at some point she started talking about medical/social transitioning in the future tense. As if it IS happening, not maybe. Went to bed a little freaked out and woke up a little freaked out.

• Post #1763825

  Sometimes thinking about whether I should transition gets me worked up and a thought appears that the only solution is to give up and end it. My therapist says this is my brain just wanting the pain to end. This morning I read an article on high cancer rates in millenials. I thought of how scary being diagnosed with cancer would be, and then immediatly thought how dissapointing it would be for my life to end without getting to be the woman I should have always been. I want to live.

• Post #1763824

  I love being up before dawn. The getting up part not so much.

• Post #1763822

  Black nail polish is as awesome as I'd hoped, somehow it feels cuter than maybe any other color I've tried. Still, I think my favorite colors are spicy cinnamon, rust red/orange and mossy green, approximately in that order.

• Post #1763821

  When the urge to transition clashes with my learned helplessness and fears about destroying my life, it feels like I've exhaled all the air from my lungs and then forced to breath through a straw. Slowly becoming starved for oxygen a panicky feeling of being stuck takes hold as I contemplate there being no exit or escape from the way things are.