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• Post #3038128

  Wishing you all a lovely day and lovely weekend. I have a million things to do this morning, then a #sewing session at the local art cenre, and then I am off to see my girlfriend in Suffolk, where I am staying whole next week. The plan is to enjoy picnics in the park, sew new clothes and not think about work. I got my mum to babysit my #Cats

• Post #3038127

  Apparently, a good thing to do in this heat is to play badminton. I have just found the best spot in the gym.

• Post #3038126

  When my girlfriend's son is older and brings home his first partner, I am going to walk into his room at the most interesting moment without knocking to ask if he thinks Pokémon are real.

• Post #3038125

  Suffolk is going from 32°C today to 16°C and rain tomorrow. I am currently outside doing a rain dance, praying for a thunderstorm, and preparing to apologise to my winter coats for everything I said about them. 🌧️🙏

• Post #3038124

  I am at a family cooking event in a park. The kids are making pizzas. As a former chef, I am furious bc we are going about it all wrong. I am trying to keep calm and not go all Gordon Ramsay 😤😁

• Post #3038123

  For a long time, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of #reading a story to children. Today, I finally ticked that off my bucket list! We read How It All Began by Terry Pratchett. Afterward, they asked questions, and we talked about what progress means—how people can be scared of it and sometimes get things wrong, but progress keeps going anyway. I’m feeling so happy and fulfilled right now.

• Post #3038122

  Sour cream with 2% fat content is the first step towards alcohol-free beer and a blowup doll.

• Post #3038121

  I warned my girlfriend’s 8-year-old about the peak male ritual of ordering weaponised spicy food just to weep in front of other men. It was meant as a cautionary tale. Instead, his inner caveman heard a challenge. He ate the chilli, broke the sound barrier sprinting to the bathroom to eject it, and inhaled a pint of milk like a man extinguishing a house fire with a water pistol. Welcome to manhood, kid. Next week, we’ll practice staring blankly at a car engine we don't know how to fix.

• Post #870991

  Not my joke but I thought it was good: - What do you call someone rapping under water? - Eminemo.

• Post #824134

  Office lingo is something I really hate. People can hide behind it when they don't have much to say, and for some weird reason they believe it makes you sound professional. In my professional opinion, it makes one sound like a wanker. I mean, in real life you don't reach out to your next door neighbours with regards to touching base on optimising your bin day operations! When I am the king of England, I'll forbid to talk like that.

• Post #658251

  It's a real shame when in a porn video someone delivers a pizza and it's just lying there getting cold.

• Post #657259

  RE: https://lgbtqia.space/@dianea/116224808038896506 Dare you enter the basement?

• Post #657258

  "- When I see young men and women messing around and adopting pets, I have this question, why don't you produce children of your own? Why are you wasting time? How do you not understand that you must have children? Why are you trying to trick the nature? - When I see people giving unsolicited advise, I have this question, why don't you go and fuck yourself? Why are you wasting time? How do you not understand it's time for you to go fuck yourself? Why are you try...

• Post #657257

  I have just learned that "penguining" refers to gathering together in cold weather in order to keep warm. And here was me thinking it was about sending someone a cute or funny photo or a joke, like a penguin brings their mate a nice pebble in order to impress them. Anyway, if you have received a cute photo or a joke on your phone, know that you are being penguined.

• Post #657256

  https://youtu.be/6wCgZh-nczY?si=t-5vmc6vQPn0Vx79

• Post #657255

  https://youtu.be/68WmaQDt2nk?si=TQrn4n2Xu6LZ05WX

• Post #657254

  The weirdest rain I've ever seen. Is someone feeling gloomy in that particular house? #photo #Photography #Photographie #rain #clouds #weather

• Post #635443

  I am watching the new production of Importance of Being Earnest and all I can think about is how cleverly the fabric's design patterns are matched, every piece, every line, it's just so good! #sewing #fashion #GarmentDesign

• Post #380948

  Maybe the week when you are super busy is not the best to try and reduce your #anxiety medication. It would be great to stop it all together, and I am asking myself, do I have to take it every day for the rest of my life? - That's just bleak. But not this week; it's only Monday morning and there's already plenty of stress. This is not meow at all 🐈‍⬛

• Post #380947

  I've been reading Flour Water Salt Yeast and experimenting #baking bread dough, trying to make some olive bread with a nice crust. The best result so far is from 3.5g dry yeast in very warm mineral sparkling water with sugar, 25 hrs in the fridge. 400ml water for 500g flour was way too wet though 😁

• Post #380946

  Naïve #Linux question. There's a website called LinuxJourney by labex.io - it provides Linux training. It asks for Google or Facebook Id, it wants to run JavaScript in my browser (for VMs) and they are based in China. Am I being paranoid for not wanting to use it?

• Post #380945

  I have baked a few loaves of olive bread earlier and wanted to take a photo to show on Mastodon but then erm idk what happened 😁 #baking #Bread

• Post #182652

  @ObsidianUrbex@mstdn.social Your Uber review: ​My driver, Urbex, was a total pro. She found a shortcut through the kelp forest that shaved ten minutes off my commute to the rookery. The ride was incredibly smooth—hardly any drag—and the water temperature was a crisp, perfect 8°C. ​She even had fresh herring in the seatback pocket! No slapping, no splashing, just pure aquatic luxury. I arrived feeling sleek and hydrated. 5 stars