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• Post #4455852

  I hear Odysseus saw some pretty weird things while he was sailing. It was apparently quite an odd sea.

• Post #4449635

  "Underage girls tested positive for pregnancy" is such a weirdly malicious way to say "ICE kidnapped and then raped a bunch of children."

• Post #4380904

  I've started rejecting all cookies automatically no matter what website I'm on. IDK who keeps asking for them but I'm pretty sure they've had enough cookies now. They'll spoil their dinner.

• Post #4362969

  Okay I'm a teacher. So let me explain this to you in as simple a way as I can. Let's say I want to buy a cake. But not just any cake. A specialty cake for my nieces quinceañera. A cake like that costs at least $100 bucks. But I don't have $100 bucks. What do? Well, I could save up to buy the cake. But that might take a long time and by then her quinceañera would be long over and gone. I could go take out a loan for the $100 bucks. But I don't want to take out a loan because...

• Post #4362291

  COMPANIES: no one wants to work anymore PEOPLE: pay us COMPANIES: I just don't know what we're doing wrong PEOPLE: easy. pay us. we'll work. COMPANIES: we've tried everything. pizza parties, casual fridays, standing desks... PEOPLE: you haven't tried paying us COMPANIES: it's like nobody even cares anymore. PEOPLE: we care about our paycheck. offer us a living wage paycheck. COMPANIES: there's literally nothing we can do PEOPLE: pay us. pay us pay us pay...

• Post #4362253

  That rat bastard. How dare he [checks notes] improve the city and feed his citizens

• Post #4360558

  Minimum wage is not "competitive pay". In the US, the federal minimum wage is $7.25/hr. I could have based my company in another city, in another state, and legally paid my employees $7.25/hr. It would not be a competitive wage. In Seattle, the minimum wage is $21.30. I could legally pay my Seattle employees $21.30/hr. It would not be a competitive wage. In Washington State, we are not legally required to compensate employees for the use of their vehicle on company time. I could pa...

• Post #4356372

  Don't freak out it's just German for "the Trump, the".

• Post #4337069

  ENSIGN HARRY KIM: I'll take a Shirley... KIM: I mean a virgin... KIM: No, make it a children's... KIM: Hmm, no maybe a wine spritze... KIM: Oh heck you only live once give me an appletini easy on the tini. QUARK: You're cut off, Harry. You're scaring the regulars.

• Post #4336404

  Darmok and Jilad are in real estate

• Post #4335514

  In Predator 2 (1990), the Predator recognizes that a child with a toy gun poses no actual threat and refuses to attack him. This implies that Predators as a species have developed more ethical rules of engagement than ICE.

• Post #4328372

  Hey you know that old saying about how if you sit down down to dinner with nine other people who are Nazis, there are ten Nazis at the dinner table? If the private army that hired you also hired 60% pedophiles, you are a pedophile in a pedophile army.

• Post #4322308

  This user manual from a wireless adapter I bought has a Frequently Questioned Answers section

• Post #4296623

  Gender neutral guide: Fireman - Firefighter Mailman - Mailwizard Policeman - Policebarbarian Salesman - Salescleric Fisherman - Fisherrogue Congressman - Congresswarlock

• Post #4286420

  Dudebro chuds injecting themselves with testosterone, taking endless steroids and supplements, hairline transplants, and jawlinemaxxing telling trans women we can't have HRT because we need to just "accept the body God gave us" will never not be peak humor to me.

• Post #4256641

  We need a law that says if you've been paying $2,500 a month on time without fail for more than 5 years, a bank is required to recognize that you can afford a $1,500/month mortgage. If you can consistently pay more in rent, you can clearly handle a lower mortgage payment.

• Post #4246957

  Tracking a package sent through USPS: - we don't think it exists - we sent it on a jaunty holiday to New Jersey - delivered

• Post #4246490

  FUN SCIENCE FACT: Homosexuality occurs in nearly all animals so if you're a homophobe and you eat meat, at some point in your life you have probably eaten a gay animal. So, congratulations, you have literally had gay meat inside you at least once. I don't make the rules. Happy pride! 🌈

• Post #4231846

  Download a cat:

• Post #4214818

  SCOTTY: Care to join me in a wee belt a scotch? KIRK: Scotty it's 9:30 in the morning. SCOTTY: We live on a feckin spaceship, cap'n it can be any time we want it tae be. KIRK: Fair enough but aren't you on duty?? SCOTTY: In the Scottish Navy, we used to have a saying. "If ye cannae do yer job drunk and in the dark," KIRK: ...? SCOTTY: ... KIRK: How's the rest of it go? SCOTTY: The rest a what, cap'n? KIRK: The saying. The Scottish saying about doing yo...

• Post #4214718

  GUINAN: What can I get you, big guy WORF: I would like to order a drink GUINAN: Great, what kind of drink? WORF: It is an Earth beverage GUINAN: Oh no WORF: I heard my mother describe it to me as a child. GUINAN (backing away): No no no it's happening please don't- WORF: It is called GUINAN: Don't say it if you say it I can't- WORF: Kool Aid KOOL-AID MAN: OHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAH ENTERPRISE: [venting into space]

• Post #4206444

  PICARD: Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. REPLICATOR (MAJEL BARRETT VOICE): Before his marriage, Lord Grey had an affair with the already-married Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. In 1791 she became pregnant and was sent away to France, where she gave birth to a daughter. That daughter was raised by Grey's parents. PICARD: Oooo girl spill it!

• Post #4169246

  I have a rare recording of my teacher, Sir Wladamir Jan Kochanski on vinyl playing Un Sospiro. We used to spend hours every day at the piano discussing this piece, working out details of phrasing and harmony. He passed in 2015. I have a little record player hidden in a cabinet in my living room. Sometimes I put that piece on and go to my piano for a while and put my head down just to hear my friend again in the other room.

• Post #4168849

  MEN: Men are genetically built to be the natural superior leader, and should control all decisions made in families, governments, and businesses. ALSO MEN: Women need to cover up because men are incapable of controlling their own sex organs.

• Post #4143901

  Your average fediverse user is:

• Post #4109427

  Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger

• Post #4100708

  "where were all the trans people before?" We hid. And if we didn't hide, we died. - we were deemed clinically insane. - we we imprisoned. - we were put in institutions. - we were forcibly medically castrated. - we were tortured with electric shocks. - we were lobotomized. - we were hunted down and killed. - our murderers claimed "panic" and were set free. - many of us chose the "easy way out" instead. Helping trans people exist is good, actually.

• Post #4094960

  Okay, it looks like it's time once again to discuss the miserable world of Motte and Bailey fallacies. A Motte and Bailey takes its name from an ancient fortress type with a safe tower (the motte) and a wide yard out in front (the bailey). How it works is you make a bold, controversial claim, such as "women should be hunted for sport because they're stupid and inferior" and when you can't back up claim, you immediately retreat to a broadly accepted, uncontroversial viewpo...

• Post #4094219

  OPEN THE HOUNDS!!

• Post #4093150

  Mario has kissed at least two canonically transgender women. Be like Mario. Kiss a trans girl today.