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• Post #4432200

  Boomers are absolutely the most despicable people "I'm 75 years old. I voted for deportations but I didn't mean my 30 year old slampig pet Venezuelan wife who I never bothered to have chipped or made a citizen. Trump has gone too far now cutting off my supply of brown poon"

• Post #4423173

  You damn kids are just lazy. You don't want to do anything that requires effort. "Oh food is so expensive, I can't afford it". I sourced this ENTIRE MEAL for less than $1.09 cent. Just pull on your bootstraps and DO THE WORK

• Post #4393983

  Its amazing we can even give them enough money to stay alive

• Post #4388200

  The neighbors gave my sister some home grown cucumbers and they're absolutely delicious. We're practicing low level barter because when my sisters tomatoes are ready they can have some of those

• Post #4336947

  I know why my cat is especially sleepy today. Apparently my sister found a big piece of watermelon rind in the living room. He drug it from the trash in there and ate it. Not the red part mind you, this little nigger chewed up a fair sized chunk of the green rind

• Post #4215299

  If you murder another person I believe that in lieu of a lengthy trial and sentencing that a member of the victims family should be allowed to challenge you to trial by combat, to the death. I think it would make people think differently about killing people. Then they're not asking if they can outsmart the cops, they're asking if they can really beat Uncle Bill the crazy prepper/ex-ranger in melee combat

• Post #4050617

  I get why they did it. They also probably figured they were going to find drugs or something but letting her go gave her just enough rope to hang herself

• Post #4050377

  "How to commit crime and blame child" is honestly one of those things that if it shows up in a search history they should just kill that person. There is literally no reason to google that unless you're planning to do it

• Post #4043556

  "Hi I'm Andrew Tate and I'm here to explain that in a hypothetical scenario that is literally never going to happen why its not gay to suck Megan Fox's dick. I am straight by the way, join Hustler University to learn how to be straight and also suck women's penises"

• Post #3997970

  Actually this story is too good, I'll go ahead When they were younger my Uncle stole a brand new rifle from my Dad and sold it. This caused a rift between them for like 12 years. Its Christmas, everyone is opening presents and Dad gets handed this long square box. Its from my Uncle. Dad rips the paper off and its a rifle box, the same exact rifle my Uncle had stolen from him years before. My Dad teared up a little bit. They'd been fighting for years over this rifle so Dad thinks this is...

• Post #3896765

  This is fine. I can still use this for a couple more weeks

• Post #3894398

  Various things are occurring with Tater

• Post #3869284

  And for my next trick I will make an entire family size bag of crunchy cheetos disappear without a family

• Post #3867897

  I was given a clean bill of health and I got a handful of ground beef because the vet said I might have low iron. He also said I looked malnourished but not too bad and I should drink more water

• Post #3818413

  There is a local sandwich shop that does a lot of bacon on their sandwiches, as a result that have a lot of bacon grease and rather than wasting it they soak pieces of bread in it and then toast it over a flame grill. Its 2.50 for ten pieces and I'm addicted to it

• Post #3779799

  Back to training

• Post #3754090

  You ever been so mad you just hit a nigga with an entire gallon of milk?

• Post #3741441

  Teleporting Rabbit

• Post #3726340

  Got to talk to my old boss a bit. Told him how far I've come in therapy. He asked if I was thinking about being ready to come back

• Post #3715535

  I planned to do a bunch of therapy exercises today since I don't have an appointments. I had big plans and I had leg cramps all night and didn't sleep so now I'm just sitting here like this

• Post #3705229

  Me when you order extra sauce:

• Post #3701170

  Shapostrophe :cat_laugh:

• Post #3664555

  No peace until they bring back the Bellburger

• Post #3664268

  Mitch McConnell is alive and we must sacrifice 1000 children a day to keep him on the Golden Throne

• Post #3570294

  I'm going to tell you why you have to be super specific with women. My sister texted me "Hey do you need anything I'm going to Walmart". Me, oh boy, yes I do need something. "Can you get me some bodywash?". Several minutes of silence "Yeah I wasn't planning on going there but I'll get you some". Ok...well she wasn't planning to go by the pharmacy section, but she is now so cool. She comes home and hands me the bodywash. Now the picture on the l...

• Post #3567409

  The Japanese love us. Truly our greatest ally

• Post #3544117

  My therapists at least only know I had a stroke, they have no idea how bad it actually was. I've discovered now I can say whatever fucked up shit I want to say and they just attribute it to my stroke. People are about to learn a lot about piles of shoes

• Post #3519734

  Good news everyone, my short term disability has been approved, so now I can get paychecks again

• Post #3505543

  I'm just going to start making shit up and presenting it as true

• Post #3498334

  I should get my cat a bell