← Feed

Posts

• View post

  I need an opinion. My sisters tomato plants have buried us this year. Somehow she has grown enough that we have given away tomatoes to anyone that would take them and we still have 4 home depot buckets of them as well as the plants still producing. Would it be a bad anniversary gift to get her a bunch of canning supplies and a jar sealer? I feel like they would both enjoy having homemade canned red sauce on tap

• View post

  My sister just called me and told me that her and my brother in law are going to Texas Roadhouse for dinner tonight and asked if I wanted anything. Dare I live the impossible dream and order a porterhouse?

• View post

• View post

  In 2007 my Aunt was killed during a robbery in her house. My Uncle was at work when it happened. For some reason I remembered that today. I also remember the cop that showed up. His name was Sergeant Brookshire. I remember him because he came in at an 11. He went at it like his own family had been killed. He came in with a shambling hate boner for the fuck wad that did it and I remember him telling my Uncle "Don't worry Mr Gary. We're going to find the summbich that did this and fry...

• View post

  I took the cat back for his checkup today because of him being sick last week. Vet says he is good. I mention that he likes to drink my coffee, ask if that could be it. Vet tells me a story about a cat he had that would get underneath the coffee maker and not only drink from the cup but lick the spout to get any it missed. Apparently as long as he isn't drinking too much coffee is benign for cats. In short the vet basically told me he can have a little bit of my food as a treat as long as it...

• View post

• View post

  My boss wanted to know how I could tell a good hire from a bad hire in less than one shift. I never found a good way to tell him "I go talk to every person that gets hired and by gauging their level of niggertry I can tell if they're going to last the week or not"

• View post

• View post

  The kitchen knife would be an 8 inch one, the santoku would go 5-6in depending on the pattern and the filet about 6in. If I did a pairing knife instead of filet it'd go around 3-4in

• View post

  *...steps to the microphone. Taps it twice. Clears throat, straights tie* Ahem... SHE FUCKING ADMITTED SHE KILLED THEM YOU DENSE CUNT! WHO KILLED THE CHILDREN HAS NEVER BEEN IN FUCKING QUESTION AND THEY DIDN'T PROVE IT IN COURT BECAUSE ITS SELF EVIDENT FROM HER CONFESSION SHE DID!!! THEY DIDN'T TRY TO PROVE IT BECAUSE ITS LIKE ASKING SOMEONE TO PROVE WATER IS WET *straights tie again* Thank you

• View post

  The jury has been sent home today without reaching a verdict. Every day they take to do this is a bad sign. This verdict should have taken 10 minutes

• View post

  The three male jurors in the Lindsey Clancy trial explaining to the female jurors that being sad doesn't give you the right to murder your children:

• View post

• View post

  Tyler: She doin this to me tonight

• View post

  I have learned that the blacksmith community as a whole has decided that the word "Scimitar" is somehow racist and instead of allowing that to slide the second I'm able to start making knives again every knife I make will be named some variant of scimitar. Skinning knife? Short Bladed Scimitar Hunting Knife? Spade Bladed Scimitar Hatchet? Weighted Scimitar Hammer

• View post

  St Peter: So what did you do during your time on earth? "I built over 1000 homes for God's creatures the squirrels so they could be safe and protected" St Peter: Come on in

• View post

  Boomers are absolutely the most despicable people "I'm 75 years old. I voted for deportations but I didn't mean my 30 year old slampig pet Venezuelan wife who I never bothered to have chipped or made a citizen. Trump has gone too far now cutting off my supply of brown poon"

• View post

  You damn kids are just lazy. You don't want to do anything that requires effort. "Oh food is so expensive, I can't afford it". I sourced this ENTIRE MEAL for less than $1.09 cent. Just pull on your bootstraps and DO THE WORK

• View post

  Its amazing we can even give them enough money to stay alive

• View post

  The neighbors gave my sister some home grown cucumbers and they're absolutely delicious. We're practicing low level barter because when my sisters tomatoes are ready they can have some of those

• View post

  I know why my cat is especially sleepy today. Apparently my sister found a big piece of watermelon rind in the living room. He drug it from the trash in there and ate it. Not the red part mind you, this little nigger chewed up a fair sized chunk of the green rind

• View post

  If you murder another person I believe that in lieu of a lengthy trial and sentencing that a member of the victims family should be allowed to challenge you to trial by combat, to the death. I think it would make people think differently about killing people. Then they're not asking if they can outsmart the cops, they're asking if they can really beat Uncle Bill the crazy prepper/ex-ranger in melee combat

• View post

  I get why they did it. They also probably figured they were going to find drugs or something but letting her go gave her just enough rope to hang herself

• View post

  "How to commit crime and blame child" is honestly one of those things that if it shows up in a search history they should just kill that person. There is literally no reason to google that unless you're planning to do it

• View post

  "Hi I'm Andrew Tate and I'm here to explain that in a hypothetical scenario that is literally never going to happen why its not gay to suck Megan Fox's dick. I am straight by the way, join Hustler University to learn how to be straight and also suck women's penises"

• View post

  Actually this story is too good, I'll go ahead When they were younger my Uncle stole a brand new rifle from my Dad and sold it. This caused a rift between them for like 12 years. Its Christmas, everyone is opening presents and Dad gets handed this long square box. Its from my Uncle. Dad rips the paper off and its a rifle box, the same exact rifle my Uncle had stolen from him years before. My Dad teared up a little bit. They'd been fighting for years over this rifle so Dad thinks this is...

• View post

  This is fine. I can still use this for a couple more weeks

• View post

  Various things are occurring with Tater

• View post

  And for my next trick I will make an entire family size bag of crunchy cheetos disappear without a family

• View post

  I was given a clean bill of health and I got a handful of ground beef because the vet said I might have low iron. He also said I looked malnourished but not too bad and I should drink more water