Post #4117944
2026-07-23 01:07 UTC
@NanoRaptor@bitbang.social also all the guys Jason Statham kills die of papercuts
Replies (2)
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@MuseumJoe@oldbytes.space 2026-07-23 01:30
@uep@timeloop.cafe @NanoRaptor@bitbang.social "In an alternate universe where there is no penicillin: Statham is PAPERWORK"
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@piersg@mastodon.social 2026-07-23 03:55
@uep@timeloop.cafe @NanoRaptor@bitbang.social 3 HENCHMEN: get in this cell, J Statham. Boss inexplicably wants us to kill you in a few hours, not now. Rest assured, we will though. JASE: Fair enough. Please may I have a sheet of paper to write a message to my unborn child? HENCHMEN: [evil laugh] sure, why not? There you go, 80GSM, A4 bond. [slams door JASE folds the sheet into a very sharp and rigid shuriken. A short time later, all 6 henchman eyeballs are wrecked, 2 necks are snapped, 1 is left alive as a warning]