Post #4114404

2026-07-26 14:51 UTC

Often the result is that the victim is forced to leave. We leave communities. We leave our own families. We walk away because the only other choice given to us by that community is to shut up and continue to listen to other people justify our abusers or even blame us for what happened. So we walk away. Not because we don’t love those people. Because we can’t love those people and love ourselves at the same time.

Replies (2)

@faithisleaping@anarres.family 2026-07-26 14:54

I don’t have any answers here. If you were hoping for a community healing HowTo, you’re not going to find one. But the one thing I can tell you is that the victim empathizing with, forgiving, or making up with their abuser isn’t part of the solution. That’s just how you keep the abuse going.

Open ##4114398
@DavidM_yeg@beige.party 2026-07-26 19:51

@faithisleaping@anarres.family This is not inherently a feature of suffering abuse, but a failure of those communities to properly and fully come to terms with the reality of an abuser in their midst.

Open ##4119792