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@msbellows@c.im
Post #3795278
2026-07-03 18:28 UTC
Today I hope that when John Roberts wakes up in his small locked room at the Psychiatric Institute of Washington the orderlies speak to him in those artificially soothing voices adults use with small children and frightened animals and all he gets for breakfast is a harmless porridge but then fairly promptly he is taken to a staff psychiatrist for the interview required by District of Columbia Code §21-522 and the psychiatrist quickly realizes who he is and apologizes that no one has recognized him earlier, and then explains that by law they do need to complete the interview for form's sake, and Roberts understands that so the doctor asks whether he's been under any stress lately and with a tangible, almost physical feeling of catharsis Roberts says "oh my God yes!" and because he's been so so lonely and it's really nice to talk with someone he shares all the things that have been stressing him out including his emotion-driven drunk driving incident and all the dead rats and Alito and Thomas in dark robes threatening him ritually with candles and yet another dead rat and by the end of the interview, yeah, you got it, the doctor says, "I'm very sorry, Mr. Chief Justice, I really don't want to do this, but I really have no choice but to keep you here a while longer for your own safety," and promises he'll try to contact someone to arrange a private outpatient provider but also warns that because it's a holiday weekend it may take longer than usual. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Replies (1)
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I hope that when John Roberts wakes up this morning in his small bed in his small locked room in the psychiatric facility where he's been referred for a mental health evaluation (see above), he remembers it's July 4th and really hopes he can get out today so he can celebrate with friends like usual, but then he remembers that actually these days he has few or no friends, especially since Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito went feral on him (also see above), and then when the orderly comes to let him out he asks whether the facility has managed to reach anyone to arrange his release to a private provider, and the orderly checks the chart and says that they've called Roberts' emergency contact, his wife, but that she hasn't answered the calls, which John knows probably is because she's still overseas with her pelvic health physiotherapist (id.), which means actually no one knows he's been locked up and no one is arranging for his release on this holiday weekend and he's going to spend America's 250th anniversary in a psychiatric facility, but on the bright side the orderly has gaily decorated his porridge this morning with some fun stripes of red and blue icing and a tiny paper flag (with only 25 stars and 11 stripes because it's small). #IHopeJohnRoberts #July4 #July4th #250th
Open ##3795277