Post #3795277

2026-07-04 18:11 UTC

I hope that when John Roberts wakes up this morning in his small bed in his small locked room in the psychiatric facility where he's been referred for a mental health evaluation (see above), he remembers it's July 4th and really hopes he can get out today so he can celebrate with friends like usual, but then he remembers that actually these days he has few or no friends, especially since Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito went feral on him (also see above), and then when the orderly comes to let him out he asks whether the facility has managed to reach anyone to arrange his release to a private provider, and the orderly checks the chart and says that they've called Roberts' emergency contact, his wife, but that she hasn't answered the calls, which John knows probably is because she's still overseas with her pelvic health physiotherapist (id.), which means actually no one knows he's been locked up and no one is arranging for his release on this holiday weekend and he's going to spend America's 250th anniversary in a psychiatric facility, but on the bright side the orderly has gaily decorated his porridge this morning with some fun stripes of red and blue icing and a tiny paper flag (with only 25 stars and 11 stripes because it's small). #IHopeJohnRoberts #July4 #July4th #250th

Replies (1)

@msbellows@c.im 2026-07-05 16:59

This morning #IHopeJohnRoberts is allowed to join the other patients in the common room for a group therapy session where a man who believes he's Tsar Nicholas and a woman who's sure she's really a space kitty temporarily in human form listen attentively to him explain that he's the chief justice of the United States and reassure him that they believe him, and then they're all served a surprisingly tasty meat loaf with mashed potatoes and green beans for lunch, and then he plays a couple games of backgammon with a very nice person of indeterminate gender who thinks Roberts is one of the orderlies and keeps calling him "sir," and honestly it's one of the most collegial, pleasant days he's had in a long time and he sort of hopes they don't release him too soon, but then the facility administrator comes in accompanied by the girl U.S. Marshal from the Court's protective detail and he realizes that instead of getting to keep hanging out with his undemanding new friends he instead has to go back to his lonely big house tonight and then tomorrow he'll have to return to work with assholes like Alito and Thomas, and it makes him sad.

Open ##3795276