Post #3758079

2026-07-11 19:31 UTC

Nearly every friend I’ve ever made came thru a “special interest”. Not small talk. Not networking. Not “putting myself out there.” A shared “obsession”, and someone standing next to me inside it. For autistic folx, special interests aren’t a pathological symptom to manage or destroy. They’re often the closest and truest road to connection we have. Society needs to stop pathologising the thing that brings us people and connection.

Replies (6)

@aceofcosmicspace@lgbtqia.space 2026-07-12 11:52

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me this is a really solid point and very true. Thank you!

Open ##3760846
@jarno@dosgame.club 2026-07-11 19:32

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me yes this. Please leave my in my f-in comfort zone. It’s like, comfortable. And stuff.

Open ##3769725
@401matthall@mastodon.xyz 2026-07-11 19:36

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me Hear, fucking, hear. Talk to me about yer favorite phylum, fountain pen, 43-lens magnifying glasses for working on the world's smallest jewelry, flush-able toilets, magma vents, Oort clouds, the origins of words, the lbs/sq.in required to press ink into handmade paper, or anything else that makes yer liver quiver. When I need a break, I'll let you know. Otherwise, let's hang out. <3

Open ##3769728
@syntaxxor@sk.girlthi.ng 2026-07-11 20:32

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me Yep. I think the major flaw with "networking" and "getting yourself out there" is that it fundamentally struggles with how to do that. It doesn't work to just cold call people, post into the void, or go to a bar/club. What can work (in my experience) is going to specialized events for those interests with spaces designed to get people talking and interacting. A couple months ago, I went to a local indie game convention. I attended a 1-hour game jam where I got to make a game in the same room as some game devs I really respect. I met a few people there as well as the event organizers and that worked as some good connections. I also attended a talk where I asked a question about a variation of the topic that the speaker had less experience with. Someone came up to me after and said they had experience and offered to exchange contact and chat about it at a later date. We're now on a game dev team together. That single weekend at an indie game convention was better for making friends and industry connections than any amount of barhopping, clubbing, or posting could.

Open ##3769731
@theeclecticdyslexic@mstdn.social 2026-07-11 21:02

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me I think the pathologising might be part of what makes it effective for making friends. When someone talks with you about the thing you are interested in, this signals occupying a particular niche for a form of social interaction many people won't engage in. It's a filter.

Open ##3769738
@chewie@mammut.gogreenit.net 2026-07-25 05:58

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me nothing wrong with that. I'm not autistic, but most of my friends came from my special interests too...

Open ##4080794