Post #3741644

2026-07-11 14:24 UTC

@Asuyuia@toot.cat We know we cannot help with this realistically, as these are some complex thoughts you're working through, but we wish to state a thing. Many folx believe that everybody must learn to love themselves and fix themselves before they can love or be loved. The idea that this is universal is false. For some folx, it's what they needed to do. But it doesn't apply to all. Some need others to learn how to love and feel worthy of it. We just wanted to state this, as the belief that this applies absolutely is ubiquitous, and we underhope that this isn't pushed on you.

Replies (2)

@Asuyuia@toot.cat 2026-07-11 14:31

@SleepyCatten@cultofshiv.wtf What is folx?

Open ##3741643
@Asuyuia@toot.cat 2026-07-11 14:44

@SleepyCatten@cultofshiv.wtf I keep thinking of how to talk about it and fumbling. I guess it is part of the idea of self worth, worthy of love, those kind of thoughts but it actually goes back more to the fortress around my heart that I built to protect myself. I don't really know how much is locked away and how buried it is. I might be more aro-ace or trauma induced aro-ace or just not functioning chemically right due to hormones or who knows what at this point... I don't know. I need to work on just not being broken. I need to not have self worth tied to others. There is so much I have to work past but honestly I welcome opinions and ideas. I am still just searching for answers on how to fix me. I am jealous of how people can hold someone close and feel at peace. That people can have such deep connections. When I read lesbian romance I'm jealous of the characters. Love, lust, closeness, friendship, I don't know these things really in a lot of ways. People describe things and often fail to describe them well or just outright use the word they are trying to describe in the description or in ways I can't believe. I want to feel my emotions fully again. I want to know how it feels to truly care for someone. I want to be able to care about me more. I know there are no answers but thank you for adding some input.

Open ##3741905