Post #3662059

2026-07-08 01:36 UTC

given an abstract description of “male socialization” or “male privilege” it’s not like i cannot cast my mind back and find examples prior to transition that technically fit the simple description- as a trans woman it’s that I’ve seen and heard the male socialization stories from actually cis men and there’s just no comparison. it’s a different thing. Cis men and pretransition transfems do not get treated or socialosed in the same ways. a cis man experiences those things as normal and expected. a trans fem experiences it as being forced into an uncomfortable role they do not wamt and did not ask for. the cumulative experience of that over thousands of instances year over year adds up to a whole different experience. that is literally what being transgender is. And why it doesn’t make sense to say trans women have been “male socialized” no matter how legitimate a description you think that is to have in the world. The imposing of that experience and expectation on transfems is an extension of transmisogyny- namely the tendency for us to not be believed about our own experiences.

Replies (2)

@xorlou@lgbtqia.space 2026-07-08 09:36

@bri7@social.treehouse.systems I'm curious about the male socialisation stories. I wonder what I might have "missed out" on. I don't think I experienced a typical "male" upbringing. Sure I was given boy's toys like cars and I played with them but I also played dolls with my sister. I did feel the social pressure to not like girly stuff so I knew to steer away from such things when I secretly liked them. I think this made me a very secretive person in general. My father was distant and didn't encourage me to engage in any masculine activities. I was never pushed to do any sports or anything like that. When I got in to computers around age 13 I got sucked in and hid myself from the world in my bedroom whenever I wasn't forced to go out for school or whatever. One experience that sticks in my mind is when I was in university, a friend practically dragged me in to a strip club and forced me in to getting a "private dance". The whole experience was really weird and uncomfortable and I felt really sorry for the young woman doing this "dance" for me. I felt completely disgusted with myself afterwards.

Open ##3668798
@valerie@cmplxdecay.space 2026-07-08 12:32

@bri7@social.treehouse.systems are the usual suspects doing their rounds on fedi calling trans women "male socialized" again

Open ##3671886