A theism? No I don't believe, I Know things

2026-04-30 14:59 UTC

A professor of philosophy finishes a trick four piece puzzle from the character’s childhood Professor Agneto: Ah well that was easy! Twas a trick, putting the fourth piece in, as if you put the first three pieces together, the fourth won’t fit because of the topological constraints put on the system by the the initial axioms. Smart man: Prove it! Professor Agneto: I’m sorry? Smart man: I outright reject your claim on the basis that if you said something you must prove it and I will not listen to you to thus continue this conversation without respecting you as a person OR any of your ideas. And I will continue it in the only manner I know how: in a pseudorespectfully hostile manner! Professor Agneto: Oh, I’ve had this conversation a billion times. There are a lotta you. No, the puzzle represents an axiomatic system, and what I’m saying is a continuation of the logic of Gödel’s incompleteness theorom to complete it based on orthogonal relativity. Smart man: I don’t know what those words mean. Speak English, which I say respectfully and not to evoke any feelings of inferiority in you! Prove it! Professor Agneto: Well, I can teach you these words. But the “proof” needs to be on you because what I’m describing is what the Buddha described about the entanglement process that creates the illusion of a self and more. Smart Man: I will make no effort to understand anything you say. I’m just going to command, demand, and expect an explanation. Prove it! Professor Agneto: Here’s a literal science experiment you can do to prove that your intention results in the procedurally generation of your reality! Smart Man: Reeeeeee! Prove it! Professor Agneto: Now listen here, why are you wasting my time? I mean, I am creating content for my educational (f)art project designed to provoke people who cannot control themselves (eg: pedophiles), and I honestly cannot tell if you are trolling - you’re indistinguishable from each other - so when you’re ready to not be a buttsniff… Mod: R00D! Be civilized! Smart Man: Prove it! Mod: This is the smartest person on our side. You will respect him or I’ll be forced to cultivate our echo chamber. Professor Agneto: Ah, well. All Knowledge comes from möbiation, as we all know from the second story of the Bible, assuming you’ve sinned and corrected it before to know what is objectively good as you observe how the four puzzle pieces that compose your “self” manage to fit together, which no one but you can do. Assuming you’ve meditated to know what a jhana is. Smart Man: Prove it!

Replies (6)

@Draegur@lemmy.zip 2026-04-30 18:06

Pro Tip: it’s spelled S T R A W, not S M A R T. I can easily understand where your confusion may have come from, though, since M looks a lot like an upside down W and the two words have all the other letters (A, R, S, & T) in common. Hope that helps :} /s But although I am otherwise unconvinced anyone who is smart would argue as this alleged “smart” person does, joking aside, I like what you’ve presented. As a pejorative illustration of people who want to convince others that they are smart but are instead insufferably pedantic vapid contrarians whose entire breadth of knowledge can be accurately summed up as convoluted ways to say “NUH-UH!” and the rote regurgitation thereof, I think it’s an appropriate parody of such people. So, joking aside, I do in fact appreciate your humor here and this Professor Agneto’s attempt to communicate in good faith with this individual stings with painful relatability. Even though I’m not particularly likely to give any stock to theologically derived “ancient wisdom”, I think I’d actually like to read it anyway because it nevertheless constituted an earnest attempt humanity has made at understanding its own nature, and even if it turned out to have no legitimate insights of its own, it still says enough about the structure and quirks of human cognition that one may extract behavioral insights regarding the works’ authors. Or TLDR we’re all trying to figure ourselves out and we all share a common fundamental neuroarchitecture (nominally, although everyone is at least a tiny bit divergent) and how we talk about the world can say more about us than it does about the world… And that’s interesting on it’s own! Besides it might be neat if it gets me to consider stuff to angles i have not before! So lemme embrace being something that doesn’t consider itself a “smart” “man” and if you do indeed have those lore sources I’d actually be interested to look at them! You don’t gotta prove anything to me though ;3

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@Mwa@thelemmy.club 2026-05-01 11:23

thanks for that educational image ig, i want to read through it it looks interesting.

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@prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2026-05-01 13:25

I can’t help but cringe at people who post stuff like this… I’m not going to be cliche and say “get help,” as I feel like people like this weirdly live for that type of response. Maybe try medication?

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@dreamy@quokk.au 2026-05-01 10:09

You should call into The Line with Matt Dillahunty, they’re hosting 3rd of May. He’s a very calm and chill person, and I think you may be able to convert a few of these dirty atheists into your great religion by showcasing your great debating skills there. They even have a web link for international callers!

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@db2@lemmy.world 2026-04-30 16:04

Scientology was cooked up by a schizophrenic narcissist who said that if he ever wanted to be rich he would just start a religion. It has no roots.

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@village604@adultswim.fan 2026-04-30 15:11

That looks an awful lot like the KSP ∆v map.

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