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@batkaren@mastodon.online

2026-07-08 20:05 UTC

Dear Mr. Kotter: Mitch won’t be attending Senate stuff for a while. Signed, McConnell’s Mother

Replies (1)

  • @paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange 2026-07-08 20:18

    @batkaren@mastodon.online bring out your dead. bring out your dead! GOP: Here's one. CART MASTER: Nine pence. MITCH MCCONNELL: I'm not dead! CART MASTER: What? GOP: Nothing. Here's your nine pence. MITCH MCCONNELL: I'm not dead! CART MASTER: 'Ere. He says he's not dead! GOP: Yes, he is. MITCH MCCONNELL: I'm not! CART MASTER: He isn't? GOP: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill. MITCH MCCONNELL: I'm getting better! GOP: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment. CART MASTER: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations. MITCH MCCONNELL: I don't want to go on the cart! GOP: Oh, don't be such a baby. CART MASTER: I can't take him. MITCH MCCONNELL: I feel fine! GOP: Well, do us a favor. CART MASTER: I can't. GOP: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long. CART MASTER: No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today. GOP: Well, when's your next round? CART MASTER: Thursday. MITCH MCCONNELL: I think I'll go for a walk. GOP: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do? MITCH MCCONNELL: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy. [whomp] GOP: Ah, thanks very much. CART MASTER: Not at all. See you on Thursday. GOP: Right. All right.

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