With rising need to self harm, I instead pack my drawing book and pencil case. I don my rare gothic look and head towards McDonald's hoping I wouldn't feel so alone.
On the way I couldn't stop my usual wonderment of nature. I pick up beautiful red leaves and admire their crimson color, nearby I notice stunning red fly agaric, or toadstool. It's starting to rain lightly, so I open my umbrella.
On a sandy road my eyes notice unusual looking stone, lime green, something I have never seen before. I just stare at the stone in awe while people walk past by me. I pick up the stone and put it into my pocket.
At the McDonald's I realize I picked up a very busy time of the day, place was full of people. I place my order and sit on a small table in a corner, seeing the whole place from there. It was a sad reminder of things I didn't have or could never have. Friend groups socializing with each other, couples eating together and families sharing time together.
I open my book and start drawing. I sketch out a grim looking bunny. While chewing on french fries, with sad eyes, I secretly admire handsome men in the room. Little girl points at me and calls me a very sad lady. I agree In my mind.
Opening another page I sketch a cute lil crabman, since I wasn't sure what to draw next.
Walking back home I decide to visit the field. Water dribbles down from trees yellowed leaves. I find more pretty fiery red leaves. After walking for a bit I stop in shock. I notice the taller grassy areas had been cut down. I feel anger inside, there is absolutely no point cutting it this far into the autumn. I had wanted to gather more Greater plantain's seeds, but also all the precious little flowers had been torn down that still worked as a last life line for some bugs.
In vain I tried to look for some, but all the flowers were gone, claimed by human hands instead of finding rest in winter's arms.
I do find but one rare sight of a last dandelion on a patch. Walking back I notice one soul taking a rest on a plant gone by. It's going to be soon your time to have an eternal sleep...
#lifeoffiestabun
#soulofbun
#artoffiestabun