#howling2stirbawerewolfbitch

I knew Howling 2 was bad, but I didn't realise it was quite this bad in quite this way. I knew it had graphic nudity, but I didn't realise quite how lame and cringe it was going to be executed. It is rare that the double-feature is worse than the main; but Wolfen had a surprising amount of artistry covering up threadbare plot and nonsense ethnography. Howling 2 had... Well, we all know what it had. And if we're talking about a pair of boobs, that includes Reb Brown and charisma-free female-lead. #Wolfen1981 clear winner tonight. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

@LuluHelle@ohai.social The dangers being the sex is ultimately really lame, cringe, unsatisfying and no-one looks like they're actually having any fun? #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

@starkraving666@jorts.horse To be fair, I suspect that's what the director thought he was hiring for throughout, and he resented having to make the rest of the movie when Stirba was like "one scene, that's it, that's all you get". #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

Sure, why not end the movie with the same thing you've been spamming it with constantly. You can play it off as a joke. Because the whole movie looks like a joke. But we know it wasn't. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

"Hell of a costume, kid". Yeah, shame they didn't bother putting that level of detail into some of the other werewolves in the movie. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

Ok... So this entire genocide is because the church incorrectly views lycanthropy as a demonology? Well, yeah, that checks out. Or is Stephan including the werewolves as "adversity" part of his liturgy? He covered the compass points... But what about werewolves directly up or down? #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

Do we know what the church's position is on werewolves? Vampires, sure. Crucifixes, etc, etc. Unconsecrated Ground, yada yada. But dog-men (and women)? #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

@allanb@mastodon.social I hear he's gotten a lot more selective in his roles recently. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

If I ever make a B-movie, I'm gonna save audiences the trouble of caring enough about the characters to learn their names by just having the actors refer to each other by their real names. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

The audience for the band performance were also spectating the werewolf orgy? And yet they needed *Reb Brown* to go recon the castle? Rather than just follow the drunk American / Geordie groupies? #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

So, are we to take it that Stirba was convinced by the other main shewolf to book the band all the way from... ... either the US or Newcastle-upon-Tyne ... ... to play the Romanian Werewolf orgy? #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

"You will know pleasures such that you never knew existed". I bet that guy says it to all the lesbians. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

The Don't Look Now portion of the Howling 2 will now commence. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

Stirba: The paws of fate. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

If you've got full werewolf prosthetics, and you're having a werewolf threesome in your movie, it kinda behooves you to use them in the threesome rather than just some lame clumps of hair glued on. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

@cptbutton@dice.camp Understandable. A lot of Reb Brown movies fail to clear the "so bad, they're good" bar. You've got to have a high tolerance for the mediocre filler; and the "WTF?" choices are always silly and lame rather than genuinely mouth-ago mind-blowers. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

A novelty screenwipe, followed by National Lampoon lettering on the "One Day Later" text? Director really going "The acting makes it impossible to sell this as a horror, or an erotic thriller. Can we pass this off as intentionally comedic?" No. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

Yeah puppet, I feel the same way. I can't look away from this car crash of a movie... ... and the editing makes it look like the movie is trying and failing to look away from its own shame too. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

This film really doesn't know what it wants to be doing. "Oh, out leads have zero chemistry and no acting ability... ... cut to bondage orgy. Oh, the werewolf makeup kills that and makes it lame and grim... .. cut to Christopher Lee, oh he's just here for brief plot exposition... ... cut to Reb Brown sex scene, oh it's really lame and unconvincing and not remotely sexy... ... cut to random dwarf, oh that's not a plot beat, back to Lee.. Come up with a sensible plot, figure out a narrative structure, write script that accounts for both. It's not brain surgery. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch

Blonde werewolf is funny. The fact that the werewolf transformation is just being hairy makes sense from the hypertrichosis-is-origin-of-werewolf-myth theory perspective but is also ick. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonDoubleFeature #Howling2 #Howling2StirbaWerewolfBitch