lately I've also been noticing that kink seems to occupy a much bigger chunk of the life of most queer folk I know than it does for me. not that there's anything wrong with that on either direction, it's just an observation. like it seems that a lot of people I know when they have a free weekend, vacation etc. their major concern is which bdsm event to go, or hooking up for this or that fetish. while I do cherish my sadism, bondage and general lesbian depravity activities, for me these are like, hobbies #379, #481 and #1312 sandwiched between interests such as illegally occupying forests, playing Polish pastoral flutes, powerlifting, bullying nazis on the tram, cross stitch etc.. like when I have some time to travel I think I have about evenly likely odds of "go to random city I've never been in because there's a HEMA group there", "go to sex party in Berlin and whip people all night in a dungeon", "stay at a longstanding anarchist occupation to read their library of 20th-century zines", and "reorganise my wild herb garden". these things are about as desirable as each other to me, and if I do any one of them too often I naturally gravitate towards the others.