theshovel.com.au/2026/03/03/ka…

In the wake of a stressful day of being enlisted into a war that he was promised this President would never initiate, one MAGA diehard has found relief in the fact that America did not vote for a woman with a weird laugh.

Shortly after learning that the United States had launched strikes against Iran based on dubious and half-arsed reasoning — and that American troops had already begun to die as a result — 24-year-old Jim Campbell received news he would be enlisted into the US armed forces.

Not one to let bad news ruin his day, the Wichita man put a positive spin on the situation by reflecting on how much better off he is now after voting for Trump.

“Sure, I was told that grocery prices would decrease on Day 1 of Trump’s second term, which didn’t happen,” Jim thought.

“And yeah, I did really hope the Epstein Files would be released, and the perpetrators would be put to justice. Plus I guess being forced to die in another forever war isn’t too crash hot.

“But at least I don’t have to hear Kamala Harris laughing. That’s where I draw the line.”