@AnnieG @skedarwarrior @cstross
Shoot you? There's nothing in your post I have even a slight problem with.

You may want to look into the non-binary community. It includes huge variations, e.g. "non-binary woman". And even if you decide not to consider yourself a part of that community, you might still find information of value to you. I would say you have some non-binary traits, but it's up to you whether those traits are enough to consider yourself non-binary. Not every non-binary person goes by "they".