I can't believe it has come to this. 😟

I have lived a good life. A righteous life. I have given more than I have taken. I have held doors open for strangers. I have let people merge in traffic. I have sat through vendor demos with a smile on my face. And yes, fine - there were a couple of speeding tickets, but those were on the highway and everyone was doing it and that's not the point.

The point is: I am good.

I left everything behind. I crossed an ocean. I started fresh in this beautiful country, with its cobblestones and pastéis de nata and the kind of light that makes you believe the universe is basically on your side.

And then. THEN! 😲

I was changing the sheets on my new bed - my beautiful new bed in my beautiful new life - when my nail caught on something and before my brain could even register what was happening, before I could stop it, before God herself could intervene - I removed the tag from the mattress. 😱

The tag. The one that says DO NOT REMOVE. The one backed by the full weight of law and moral authority and whatever shadowy international body governs these things!!!

I just... I stood there holding it. A small rectangle of fabric. A federal crime. 😢

They will come for me. They always come. The Mattress Police don't sleep - ironic, given their jurisdiction - and they are everywhere!! I don't know if it's Interpol. I don't know if it's a dedicated task force. I don't know if my NovoBanco account is already flagged? 😮

I only know one thing.

I should have been more careful with the sheets.