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  WE CAN'T RENAME AI "SUPREME INTELLIGENCE" WE WILL GET SUED BY THE KREE. THEN PROBABLY INVADED. THEY ARE PRETTY SURLY.

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  Calling "shotgun!" prior to a car ride derives from the Old West phrase "riding shotgun," which referred to a second armed employee sitting next to stagecoach driver as security against people attacking the stage, so, yes, it kind of IS your job to get out and fight that guy I just flipped off.

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  Ah, Seinfeld being a multimillionaire pseud who will want for nothing until his dying day but remains ultraperturbed at time passing and people trying to make society less shitty - always sparkling material and maybe a sufficient prompt for me to do a shot-for-shot repost of my other-medium thread of his last and profoundly dogshit stand-up special/basic-as-fuck litmus test. I shall have a beer or two and mull this prospect.

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  The bartender has one of those Chris Farley/David Spade movies on with the volume ON as an unabashed extortion scheme to get me to play the jukebox.

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  If you're a Giants fan and concerned about the rest of the season after tonight's injury to Jaxson Dart, take a few deep breaths and just remind yourself it is a long season and Jaxson Dart is a fucking neo-nazi.

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  If you're from Tennessee and went to UT and are among the 47ish percent of Tennesseans with self-awareness and critical thinking skills, just please know rational people dislike "Rocky Top" NOT because Tennessee sucks - which it does - but because of that fuckawful 7-chord in the chorus. Ugh. Gross.

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  They should do a tv show called Dancing With the Bears where celebrities have to dance with bears, who by the way are NOT trained dancing bears but just normal bears, cuz I would watch that.

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  I have decided to go the bar. What should we do? Obscure great movies? Favorite non-Hall-of-Fame point guards? Hawkeye (Clinton Barton) trivia? Dumbest plot holes of all time? Dumbest kings?

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  If he manages to throw some trifling shit and a gaggle of amoral hacks together for the rest of it, he can call it the Ed Sheeran All-Scab Tour. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/sep/15/ed-sheeran-macklemore-palestine-openers-finneas

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  I don't know, man, "embrace neo-nazism to appease twenty-seven posh assholes" seems a worse option than just prosecuting the shit out of them until it is no longer an issue. https://calmatters.org/commentary/2026/09/silicon-valley-democrats-lost-california/

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  You seem to be doing something. This obviously requires my oversight and assistance. - every dog

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  I have breaking news that the Jersey Turnpike remains ON-brand.

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  Hamlet thought the play's the thing wherein he'd catch the conscience of the king and it sort of worked, but that just led to four hundred years where unsolved murders skyrocketed because the primary method of solving crimes became putting on stupid fucking plays.

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  If you are ever someplace dark and isolated and a fifties crooner song starts playing through what sounds like a fuzzy AM radio in an adjacent room, definitely stick around. It'll be fun.

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  Gonna hear a lot from six-figure-paid lateral-thought-averse "news" dipshits in the next few months about how socialism, as they badly understand it, is scary so definitely time to remind everyone that capitalists work hard to materially and relentlessly fuck up everything good they possibly can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC8hnkUs3fM&t=621s

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  Our ancient ancestors created gods out of natural phenomena they didn't understand and I know that because I just saw a hummingbird for the first time in a while and, man, that is not a bird, that is some kind of unfathomable fucking bird superhero.

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  American enterprise in a single tv ad ZAZZY YOUNG PERSON 1: Darn, I'm broke. ZAZZY YOUNG PERSON 2: Hey, no prob, here's a website where you can go into debt to fly-by-night capitalist vermin! ZAZZY YOUNG PERSON 1: There is literally NO downside!

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  Jesus Fucking Christ, what a trainwreck. Via ErinInTheMorning. Guess we got a new litmus test: Don't fucking be Amy Acton. https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dem-ohio-gov-candidate-amy-acton

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  Seeing an awful lot of Yuengling ads in South Central Wisconsin for me, someone who dislikes beers made by Pennsylvania neo-nazis, to not get mad every fucking time I do.

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  The subject of this headline seems to make the predicate of this headline pretty remarkable. https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/ryanair-passenger-sucked-out-window-flight-b3022195.html

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  Here's you "blah blah blah Nolan blah blah blah Odyssey" when THE ONLY CONVERSATION WE SHOULD BE HAVING IS THIS👇 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvKLbCWQquY

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  I like Resident Alien a lot but it has to be The Most Canadian Audiovisual Entertainment Project Trying to Pass As American that ever lived.

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  Anyway, how's Lindsey Graham doing? Probably still pretty dead, right?

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  When I was a kid, I started collecting Avengers comic books and, in issue 152, they fought a guy who raised a zombie army, among them the long-dead Wonder Man, but in the story they referred to them as "zuvembies" and at the time I just assumed that was some dumb archaic alternate spelling but it turns out the explanation is far stupider than that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuvembie

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  I have many more Avengers opinions based on being a voracious Avengers subscriber from basically issues 134ish-through-twohundredsomething but the latter Roger Stern-penned phase was mostly trash so the earlier stuff is probably more hot-take-rife, if that means anything to anyone. Roger Stern sucks.

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  Here's my problem and tell me if this is just a me thing but if you are taking a prescription pill every day but your days blur together because the world is churning morass of entropy, gleeful malice and perfidious bullshit, how do I know if I took that fucking pill today?

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  Man, if you guys wanna have a good time, type "horror shorts" in the search thing on youtube and watch one, good or bad, the algorithm's gonna start playing you an all-day impromptu festival of short-form scary stuff, funny stuff, sci-fi stuff, cartoons, indie fest winners, big stars and nobodies, not all of it great but a LOT of it, y'know, pretty great.

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  Watching tv Guy takes a pull on a beer while getting up and concluding a meeting in a bar then sets the beer down half full. ME: What's going on? Guy bids farewell and departs, the half-full beer he came in and presumably ordered, to DRINK, still sits there. ME: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED??

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  Fucking A goddamn right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZuV5L0QL04

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  Yeah, sure, sing to children about baking blackbirds into pies, ya fucken medieval weirdos.