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  I don’t care where you started out on the political spectrum. If your kid comes out as trans & you don’t become a rainbow-clad, parade-cheering ally & rock-solid supportive girl/boy/enby dad/mom? You were never a parent at all. You were a doll collector furious they didn’t stay in their packaging. If you can go every level of ham to support their travel hockey league, whether you like hockey or not, you can do it to support their deepest hearts & souls. For fuck’s sake.

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  Every once in awhile, in the midst of my nights, I’m struck dumb with awe and a strange, refracted grief: It’s legitimately fucking *crazy* how good the internet used to be

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  On the plane to #Worldcon! Here’s my schedule, come find me here or in the bar! https://www.patreon.com/catvalente/posts/167678269?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

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  RE: https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/117167664929031455 I’m sure it’s just coincidence that making the online world infrastructurally mandatory, then incredibly unpleasant & difficult, drives people straight into the tentacled arms of fawning, frictionless AI that will never tell you not to feel briefly sad that Dolly fucking Parton died.

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  Hello #Worldcon! We are having a meetup for members of my Patreon and Substack (and anyone curious!) TODAY, Friday, at 4 pm in the Hilton lobby! Come hang with us! (My autographing is directly afterward at 6.)

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  That parts of the internet are already busy being nasty about Dolly Parton of all people shows so starkly how much the snuffing out of any positive, kind, pro-social feeling has become a bedrock, load-bearing industry. If they can’t totally monetize your heart, they’ll happily monetize rotting it.

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  RE: https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/117010437435111317 You have two days left to get yourself a $50 WSFS membership (if you don’t already have one or aren’t attending) & vote in the #Hugos! Anyone can, you get all the nominated works for free for that $50, & can nominate next year, too. Deadline is Noon Pacific, Saturday 8/8! https://www.lacon.org/register/

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  You guys it’s fucking happening. My kid wants a Lord of the Rings themed birthday party this year. I was born for this moment. No admittance except on party business.

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  Just a weird alley cat and their kitten moving way too fast through linear time

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  Was really looking forward to #worldcon but unfortunately my kid made me go bowling for 3 hours today so instead I will be dying, crumbling into dust, and haunting the next owners of my house.

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  We have such sights to show you…

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  RE: https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/117120655016918820 I gotta be honest, Cenobite Configurations make more sense as an explanation than literally anything else these days.

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  Doing the gentle parenting thing of patiently explaining the effects of a small one’s actions/choices when… Childe: STOP IT YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO GET ME TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL!! Me: Well…yeah. It’s called empathy. Kind of a big deal Childe: WELL I HATE IT I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT

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  RE: https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/117119165711861946 By the way, this is the exact historical process of “woke” people attempting basic goodness & smashing into the conservative brain over the course of this stupid fucking century. It’s just that conservatives stay 7 forever.

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  I just said this to my friend. I must record for posterity: “Look, my position on Christianity is pretty much my position on #Warhammer I’m not really into the gameplay & a lot, though not all, of the people who are REALLY into it aren’t okay & freak me out, but the lore & art design are AMAZING.”

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  You have till the end of the month (7/31) to grab my Stepford-Wives-Meets-Bluebeard fantasy-thriller with a Big Twist Ending, Comfort Me With Apples, for $2.99 everywhere ebooks can get boughten! Quite literally less than a can of soup these days… https://amzn.to/4fq6QvP

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  New #WIP excerpt up on Patreon! This month: A double chapter from my prequel to Gawain and the Green Knight--which is NOW DONE! https://www.patreon.com/catvalente/posts/excerpt-and-165291124?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

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  New photo essay up on Patreon! This month: summer residency at the Stonecoast MFA program where I teach now! https://www.patreon.com/catvalente/posts/denizen-of-month-165387216

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  New recipe on Patreon! This month: HUGE NEWS. Not to brag, but definitely to brag, I've pretty much won roasted potatoes. The most perfect combo of all the "perfect potatoes" recipes out there. These make everyone think I'm some kind of potato deity--I SHARE WITH U https://www.patreon.com/catvalente/posts/allcaps-cookbook-165388438

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  RE: https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/116993493501758083 Last day to get my M U R D E R B O O K Comfort Me With Apples for 2.99 everywhere ebooks are sold!

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  Suspect at large: white male BIOTERRORIST, blue eyes, extremely fluffy. The crime, against god, man, & CIVILIZATION ITSELF? SOMEBODY peed on my bed WHILE I WAS SLEEPING IN IT & soaked his HORRORFLUID through the prophylactic waterproof mattress cover (repeat offender). Suspect commented: LOL IDC

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  I’ve been walking around with a copy of The Hellbound Heart for the last few days (first read! My full review: OMFG) and my new dating advice for singles? Walk around with an 80s horror book. An UNREALISTIC number of highly charming women have stopped me to talk excitedly about it. In restaurants, bars, literally walking down the street. What can I say? The ladies love Clive Barker, I guess?

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  Obligatory Hugos Voting Post! You have until Sat 8/8 to vote for the #HugoAwards! Fun fact: anyone is eligible to vote! All it takes is a $50 WSFS-Only Membership. For that $50? You get copies of all nominated works--worth far more. Support in-person fandom & have a say! https://www.lacon.org/register/

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  RE: https://wandering.shop/@Catvalente/117010435305663114 And hey, if you wanted to read my novelette When He Calls Your Name & consider throwing a vote at it, that'd be swell! I'm kind of the Susan Lucci of the Hugos at this point--I've lost 11 Hugos so far! I EXCEL AT IT. Wouldn't it be cool to break the streak? https://www.uncannymagazine.com/article/when-he-calls-your-name/

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  I’m such an innocent dewy rosewater-blooded dummy I thought people were upset because they’d trained their GPT model to write in *their own style* & couldn’t output anymore. Nope, they’re upset because they can’t ask it to write their book like those of us who actually took the time to write books.

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  Okay kittens It’s Thursday night I have a rare reprieve from M O T H E R H O O D Men at the American Legion kept buying me drinks bc I am good at pool I am safe at home But it a pretty good time to ask me weird questions! Just saying.

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  I have a new short story out! The Language of Objects retells SEVERAL fairy tales in one. Ever wonder what the great witches whispered to their princesses while the sleeping girls of folklore dreamed? https://frictionlit.org/magazine/the-illusion-issue/

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  I am going to be at #LAConV—I hope to see some of you there! And if you’re reading for the Hugos, my summer gothic with a secret surprise inside is up for Best Novelette, give it a look… When He Calls Your Name: https://www.uncannymagazine.com/article/when-he-calls-your-name/

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  Get you a man who will not only watch Babylon 5 from episode 1 with you just because you say you love it, but *decline the standard “essential episodes”shortening of season one* and commit to the whole run warts and all. Literally…but I guess in a global metaphorical sense too.

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  My 2011 Locus-Award winning fantasy football (genre not gambling) story White Lines On a Green Field had vanished off the internet--thankfully @uncannymagazine.bsky.social has reprinted it for all to read once more! One of my favorites, hope you enjoy it! https://www.uncannymagazine.com/article/white-lines-on-a-green-field/