Post #981520

Autistic people are often criticised for our “lack of empathy”. This isn’t just because most people don’t understand how autistic people express & demonstrate empathy. It’s also about projection. When people have a fault or a flaw, they often find it easier to recognise in others than themselves. Sometimes a reluctance to confront that fault or flaw results in them projecting it into others more than ever. The philandering husband who suspects his wife of infidelity. The guy who disapproves of violent men, but treats his own wife with contempt. (I’m picking on men here, but it’s definitely not confined to them. They’re just the examples that came to mind.) And then there’s the fact that until we’ve had a very good reason to think what it must be like to be that person, we rarely do so. It’s easy to criticise privileged men for failing to interrogate patriarchy until they become a father of daughters, but how many white feminists have really engaged with & listened to feminist WOC? How many cis gay people have really grappled with issues faced by transgender people? Some members of marginalised groups are much more likely to truly empathise with members of other groups. They relate to the feelings, if not the life experiences. And the more intersectional a person’s issues, the more likely this is. But some are so focussed on their own issues that they defensively downgrade the difficulties faced by others in comparison to their own. Empathy, however it is shown & expressed, requires compassion & imagination. Research has shown that boys who read fiction are generally more empathetic than those who don’t. This might be correlational - empathetic boys are more likely to read fiction, but maybe reading fiction gives readers insight into the minds & feelings of other people. And regardless of how people express their empathy, we need a lot more of it in this world.