Post #695314

My cousin died about a week ago. Graham was 60. We weren't close, but we were on friendly terms. He was a high school janitor for almost 35 years, retiring earlier this year. I found out too late to get to Missouri for the funeral. My other relatives filled me in on what happened. The funeral was at one of the largest churches in his city of 6,000 people. The local school district dismissed classes early so students and staff could attend. They filled the church. There was story after story of how Graham had made their day with a smile and a kind word, or helped them out with a difficult problem, or was just the guy they could always rely on. Graham was actually a pretty reclusive person. Yet everyone in the city seemed to know him. He made an impact on a lot of lives, both tangibly and intangibly. I've reflected on all this and realized that, even with my specialized career in cybersecurity covering more than 30 years, I never made that kind of impact and never will. People in professional contexts often seem to be posturing and positioning themselves for advancement, self-promoting and patting their friends on the back. (LinkedIn, I'm looking at you.) Maybe they spend their time exchanging private messages in public to make themselves seem part of an exclusive club. (Infosec Twitter/X, I'm looking at you.) But they're not making the kind of impact Graham made. And they never will. Graham wouldn't have known. He didn't have a computer. The last letter I got from him was written on a typewriter. He had a difficult life in a lot of ways but he never took it out on others. I just don't possess that kind of grace, TBH. I don't want to preach here. So I'll just keep in mind that my advanced degrees and mostly-successful career had their value - but a life spent supporting others has value as well. I'm no better than anybody else, and neither are you.