Post #448984

I've been told many times not to beat myself up for not being further along in my "healing journey" (whatever that means) than I am in the present moment. It's not realistic to expect a complete transformation in personality just because I had a moment or two of clarity about what I've been through and how it affected me. I'm having a hard time with it tonight. I keep being told I'm not alone, and I keep telling others they're not alone, and I still feel so very alone. Human connection still feels off-limits to me. In order for things to get better for me, I need to form safe, trusting connections with others who want that too. But tonight I'm feeling like that's impossible. Like a "safe and trusting connection" is not something that even really exists. Or if it does, it's reserved for the Good People who know better than to get involved with trash like me. I know none of that is true, but it weighs heavily on me. I just don't want to feel alone anymore.