Post #4455319

Do you know the feeling of being lied directly in your face about someone being sober And that they are just being a bit silly So you wrack your head on how to explain what something is to them for 20 min It fails, and they instead ask you about some war drone murder mystery So you do it again They don't even look you in the eye When you ask them to, they just yell at you or cry They spent the past 3 hours failing to inject a bit of ketamine Reason? Unknown. Impossible to talk them out of it tho. They passed out about 10 times the past 60 minutes, but refuse to sleep. Any attempt at asking them if they are paying attention gets met with screaming about how I always ask them if they pay attention Ans this goes on for over 3 hours. I'm done. I'm clearly lied to. I let it pass. She then does it again. And again. And pretends to listen. She could just... Tell me that she is not up to hearing about computer things rn. Like I yk, asked her every time she passed out. Instead she lies to my face, makes me drain all my mental capacity so that I can't channel it into smth useful, and keeps pretending to listen. Once I have enough and force her to sleep, she gets incredibly mad at me, and I'm all out of the creative energy I had. Idk what she got out of it. She can just say she's tired. Or that she doesn't wanna listen. She did it before without a problem. But now? Wastes it all. I have very limited mental strength since my CPTSD is back. And she just wastes most of it on some weird bullshit where she pretends to be awake whilst admitting to dreaming with her eyes open. Why??? Why? I could've been coding. I should've been coding stuff that makes money. Or at least stuff that is fun. But instead I do this.