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@xorlou@lgbtqia.space

Post #4247898

2026-07-30 17:50 UTC

Someone asked for my pronouns today and after a deer-in-headlights moment I he/him'ed myself and now I feel a bit crap about it.

Replies (7)

  • @SleepyCatten@cultofshiv.wtf 2026-07-30 18:58

    @xorlou@lgbtqia.space Folx talk about fight or flight, but freeze and fawn are 2 common ones too¹. Our AuDHD mind² makes it so that we end up rehearsing things in advance, and obsess over them beforehand, but we still get things wrong in the moment when something happens unexpectedly, and it brings a lot of anxiety, so we cannot say that we recommend this 😅 FWLIW, it can get easier over time. Maybe think of them as part of "residual self-image"?³ ¹ We've also seen "faint" or "flop", but they're less common. ² Plus more than a fair bit of trauma and OCD. ³ Residual self-pronouning?

    Open ##4250076

  • @LunaDragofelis@void.lgbt 2026-07-30 19:20

    @xorlou@lgbtqia.space oh no :<

    Open ##4250714

  • @gmc@snac.chasmcity.net 2026-07-30 17:51

    Is it too late to tell them you changed your mind? CC: @xorlou@lgbtqia.space

    Open ##4337673

  • @xorlou@lgbtqia.space 🫂

    Open ##4337674

  • @xorlou@lgbtqia.space Hate when I do that. Thankfully getting less common. You’ll get there soon!

    Open ##4337675

  • @jaye@theforkiverse.com 2026-07-30 18:03

    @xorlou@lgbtqia.space It’s a process, don’t be too hard on yourself. Eventually people won’t ask and will go straight to she/her by default. You got this! ❤️

    Open ##4337676

  • @xorlou@lgbtqia.space 🫂 happens to me too, always sucks. But over time I've gotten better at not misgendering myself and at not being too hard on myself when I do it.

    Open ##4337679