Post #4113593

2026-07-26 14:08 UTC

Yes. Abusers are still human beings and as such they deserve basic human rights such as dignity and people who love them. They do NOT deserve that from their victims.

Replies (2)

@faithisleaping@anarres.family 2026-07-26 14:17

A big part of healing is recognizing what was done for what it was. Assault. Emotional abuse. Narcissistic abuse. Spiritual abuse. There are many forms of violence that may have been committed. It’s not that the label is important, it’s that we have to see the abuse we experienced for what was and believe that the damage it caused, emotionally, spiritually, or physically is real and that we didn’t deserve that. (And sometimes we need a label in order to believe that the abuse was real.) In order to heal, we have to first recognize what was done to us for what it was. We have to understand the ways in which that abuse broke us. And then we have to find new ways of living and new patterns that route around the damage. Empathy short-circuits that and gets is focused on our abuser and their needs and just repeats the cycle of abuse.

Open ##4113746
@qenya@unstable.systems 2026-07-26 14:18

@faithisleaping@anarres.family I once heard this great way of putting it, said to someone who was making a well-intentioned argument in favour of restorative justice: "Yes, abusers deserve the chance to grow and change and become better people. But they can do that without coming back anywhere near the people they've hurt."

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