Post #4063342

2026-07-16 14:45 UTC

This week, I&#39;m visiting my parents in Brasília. I&#39;m so happy that they&#39;re happy, especially my mom (who suffered a stroke that damaged her cognitive/thought functions). However, every minute I spend here I spiral very very hard into depression. It&#39;s a mix of being hypochondriac with also seeing a life that I kinda of left behind when I moved away from my native town. Joining the fandom absolutely changed my life for the better. All the new adventures, friends, moments, it all felt so fresh and new and it still does - so coming back here and seeing these glimpses of my past (and happy!) life pull me back in a way I can&#39;t explain. I still haven&#39;t learned very well how to cope with the passing of time, or making peace with some kinds of change, so it hurts. I&#39;m in my worst mental state in a long while, I cried a ton, (I honestly had THOSE kind of thoughts....) and I&#39;m counting the seconds until I leave tomorrow. Which is kind of a way of running away from my problems, and my parents deserve better from me, but I can&#39;t. I physically can&#39;t. If you read this post, I&#39;m sorry it&#39;s just me opening my heart to you, but it feels good to have a little shoutbox so I can scream into a proverbial pillow. But also, thanks so much. I don&#39;t want to be alone, and I&#39;m eternally grateful that people care. Thanks.

Replies (4)

@nepi@tech.lgbt 2026-07-16 14:58

@leggy2fast@meow.social I can totally relate, this year I went back Home home (until last year or so my parents had been living in a different city, it’s a long story) for the first time since moving out west and it definitely sent my head spinning. Trust me, when you get back you’ll feel better about where you’re at now. Hugs!!

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@CyrikCroc@dragonchat.org 2026-07-16 15:49

@leggy2fast@meow.social I think I can relate some. My grandfather is in failing health. I love my family and I'm grateful for opportunities to visit them. But I'm physically there I just feel trapped. I have to mask a lot more in day-to-day interactions. It feels less safe to be myself. Plus it takes like thirty minutes of driving in traffic to get _anywhere_. There are no easy answers. I'm sorry. :dragnheart:

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@EddiKat@meow.social 2026-07-16 17:14

@leggy2fast@meow.social *hugs* it sounds like you are fairly in touch with your emotions, which is good. Hopefully things improve when you have a bit of time and distance to contemplate where you’re at now.

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@janusfox@animal.business 2026-07-16 20:44

@leggy2fast@meow.social Oh, I feel this post. I fall into depression every time I go home. It's fun to get all nostalgic but change is hard and facing it is hard. "Everyone has to live their own life" is wisdom shared with me that helped make my long distance move easier. I don't regret the choice, but it's a hard choice, especially as family ages. It's okay to feel how you feel and you can't put aside your feelings just because of where you are. Take some you time too! :)

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