Post #3804815
2026-07-14 00:31 UTC
@SleepyCatten@cultofshiv.wtf Sometimes I have the same with friends where we talk through stuff but I will confess it is quite different when you are paying for it and they have a range of knowledge. It's just that sometimes the answers don't feel the most possible.
I mean sure I can see just how fucked up I am and how things go. Even the counsellor can see how I hide away from people. I think they gave me every chance to talk about how if I had my own fantasy island and what brings me joy that I should want people too. I mean they pointed out my smiling about the idea of a peaceful log cabin with a warm fire in a snowy place, the idea of quiet, peaceful but never people...
I really couldn't even imagine a safe place having people directly there until asked about it. The scars run deep and even my family have hurt me with aggression.
I have to work on that, open a door I would rather keep shut. It's hard to image people directly in my life, face to face, kind of caring...
:hugging:
Replies (1)
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@SleepyCatten@cultofshiv.wtf 2026-07-14 09:16
@Asuyuia@toot.cat nods We have been very fortunate to have found a number of kind folx, some of whom have grown close enough for us to trust each other with things we wouldn't say publicly or to others. Then again, we've also been luckier with family. Less so than others, but more so than many, we think. Family can really fuck you up, and sometimes you cannot fully undo the harm... but brains are very plastic, and sometimes things like psilocybin therapy have been shown to help, when guided by an empathetic, experienced therapist or psychiatrist who specialises in trauma.