Well, that's on schedule. My mom is screaming and crying and slamming doors because she accidentally whapped my son on the butt while playing "Up high, down low" and my son said "that's a private part!" and we agreed with him that it is. Rather than this becoming a perfectly normal conversation between kids and adults about how it's true that we shouldn't touch other people on the butt, but that this was an accident during a game and that grandma didn't mean to touch his butt and how that is a really important difference, it's become some hideous blowup. My son is upset because he didn't mean to make grandma cry. I'm so tired of her limitless capacity for bullshit. I cannot imagine having a life so small that I would need to make a trivial episode and opportunity for good parenting be about me and not about my kids having good, healthy, rational boundaries. I'm so upset with her. She is being such an asshole. She keeps being intentionally wrong, not listening, and going over the top until someone corrects her, and then explodes into conniptions because she finally gets to play victim and force the family to give her attention. I got used to ignoring it when I was young, but now she's dragging my kids into her psychological rat's nest and I cannot tolerate it. We gave my son a "some grown-ups have a hard time thinking instead of feeling, and she feels really upset that she didn't know that bottoms are private parts. You did the right thing telling her, and we are proud of you. She is not mad at you" talk. I have some toxic perfectionism in me (I liked law school). It is awful. But I have largely learned to manage it and not make it anyone else's problem, and it doesn't trouble me much these days. I hate knowing that this is exactly where I got it. I am need to give her a very serious talking to. This is simply impossible to accept.