Post #3157640

I can’t decide what I want from life. I assumed I would have “things figured out” by now. But each year lost ends with me just as clueless. Perhaps it’s nothing more than perception, but it feels like a lot of people are without this problem. Maybe they’ve accepted some destination and are living the journey towards it. Maybe they are okay with all the casualties and backtracking involved in careless wandering. I’m so lost right now. I don’t think I’ll ever decide. Deciding would feel like forsaking myself to either unhappiness or disappointment. The idea of deciding is deeply unrelatable. I might have to be a fundamentally different person to do the things that most people are expected to do. And I guess it’s possible to fundamentally change. But the way I am feels pretty set.