Post #2824451

2026-02-27 13:55 UTC

Yes, I was actually addressing it before he told me about his desire for Jane. I try to be friendly and on good terms with all those under me, but I am not friends with them to avoid bias. He just tends to over share a lot. From a business perspective, I am trying to ensure my team member is performing as best he can. From a personal perspective, I am actively trying to not have this guy kill himself from pushing too hard. He can't afford to be fired, he has made that well known. Before you ask, I don't make pay decisions. He stays because he has to. I and my staff have tolerated some of the complaining, but I will talk to him when he starts going overboard. He is a good guy otherwise. Do you do the proper business action or do you do the right thing? I am not heartless.

Replies (2)

@tangible@piefed.social 2026-02-27 14:12

That's tough, and I hope you can manage it in such a way that it is not a huge detriment to the team. I hope you can also share this burden with your manager because that is a lot. About the dating situation, I see a lot of downside (potential for messy drama, meltdown of an already vulnerable direct report, HR issues if things go wrong) and just a little upside. I'd keep it professional, and if you like her enough, I'd wait until one of you leaves for another job, and then get her number to keep in touch.

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@sneaky@r.nf 2026-02-27 14:36

This is a horse to water thing. You don't have control of the outcome, you can only provide John the tools to keep his job. Most managers have a list of folks they tried their best with, but it didn't work out. I look back on those folks with a great deal of sadness, but it's about the team. If you told him how to benefit the team and he chooses not to that it's on him.

Open ##2824453