Post #2424324

Is it hedonism to live from one day to the next, filling my entire existence with lots of silly side quests and activities that don't really accomplish anything useful, just so that i can run away from my existential fears - perhaps from everything- by being "productive" because i feel that if I ever rest, I cannot handle being alone for every idle minute (bedrotting and spiraling due to exhaustion / my body giving up on the nonstop stress) I am in agonizing mental turmoil and the walls call for me to end it all - or is it something else?