Post #2374663

robot fedi users are like "please break and kill it ​:neobot_pleading:​" if you're a machine and you put yourself in my care, im gonna treat you like every other device i own. that is to say, i'll make you live far longer than you were ever supposed to, while subjecting you to the most obscene nonsense treatment imaginable i'll install custom firmware on you so i can install homebrew apps i'll never use. i'll use you as another weird way to ssh into my computer while i'm in bed. i'll use your optical sensors to take cool pictures. i'll use anything on you that emits light to make interesting lighting for my room. when you break, im gonna stick you back together with superglue that comes out way runnier than i expected so it runs into your internals and causes a weird crunching sound when you move. im gonna upgrade your storage until it has more space than you know how to address, and then reformat it every time it inexplicably gets corrupted. i'll have 5 backup screen protectors for every time i inevitably drop you down the stairs. i'll use a wrist strap (i guess that's a leash) to try to avoid that, but the wrist strap will inevitably break and you'll go flying into a wall. when i knock you off a shelf and break something that i don't know how to fix, i'll just keep using you and get used to the defect. or i might find some other freak who knows how to repair you as long as i still have a use for you, you're not allowed to die