Post #2209312

2026-05-08 07:44 UTC

@david@social.kernel.org @vbabka@mastodon.social I try very hard to not let this 'be a thing' especially at a conference, I hate to drag people down or put my shit on them, but some moments it's all just a bit too much (I have basically every part of my life on fire at once at the moment, with little to no escape). A depressed brain, especially if you have some degree of smarts, is a terrible source of pain. (Relatedly, I promise) the power of the movie 'The Exorcist' is that it's _really_ talking about mental health: "The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us; but he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. His attack is psychological, Damien. And powerful." And that's the problem.

Replies (1)

@ljs@mastodonapp.uk 2026-05-08 07:50

@david@social.kernel.org @vbabka@mastodon.social You end up 'stuck' on the things your mind is telling you that are true - others had more insight, better commentary, more rooted in experience. Others spoke with more eloquence, more authority, with fewer words, less umming and ahhing... Others are far better respected, as revealed in the numerous ways people reveal themselves both verbally and otherwise. All true, but not the same thing as 'therefore I am a fraud and worthless'. More like - clearly I lack a broader view of "the mm in action". I'm burnt out and spread thin on review load. AND I CAN FIX THAT. There are insights to be had here - what exactly made other's insights more useful? It was the breadth, observing broken workloads _in practice_, the focus too. All things I can take as signals that point me at ways to improve as a kernel developer and maintainer.

Open ##2209311