Post #2025156

@pathfinder @autistics oh, gosh, yes. Independence is a concept that has caused huge damage to my son. Towards the end of primary school, he and his peers were encouraged to be independent. He, undiagnosed at the time, took the autistic understanding of total independence in all ways on all matters. But *nobody* can do that, certainly not a 10 year old autistic kid in our unforgiving world. Trying broke him. We talked a lot about how independence did not imply isolation, and working together to help each other was good for everyone. I pointed out some of the many ways I, an independent adult, relied on others - every product and service I paid for, for a start. We discussed the idea that knowing when to ask for help instead of watching things collapse is itself a form of independence. And we talked about the value of giving things a go, versus not even trying, and how *that* is the kind of independence his teachers were really talking about. He's now at college and the I-word is cropping up again. But this time, instead of just cutting everyone out, he's articulating his desire for increased independence and we're working together on what that looks like. It has taken a lot of work over the last decade to get to that level of communication and collaboration.