Post #2005203
2026-05-05 08:18 UTC
@pathfinder@beige.party
In my experience, who grew up constantly hearing I am wrong and I am supposed to do things other ways, asking or even accepting offered help most of my life felt dangerous. It felt the help from others would replace my way of seeing or solving things. The fundamental experience is when help is offered, I did not have a say in how it goes. I believe most of us, who are diagnosed late, are so internalised that help means accepting ‘their’ way of thinking, we have a hard time grasping the concept of someone genuinely wanting to help and willing to do it in our terms. When this happens and someone accepts how I want to solve things, to this day, it feels really strange, unknown. This dynamic, what we bring from our childhood, maybe more detrimental than any rigid thinking or yearning for independence. If help does not look safe, who would blame us for hesitating to accept it?
@autistics@fedigroups.social
Replies (1)
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@pathfinder@beige.party 2026-05-05 11:39
@Azzura @autistics Thank you for adding this. It is all so very true and not something I had considered in this context. As you pointed out, the fierce streak of independence and sometimes exaggerated demand avoidance autistic's can have, is not entirely unwarranted or without cause. But far from helpful when disabled or later in life needs are considered. Perhaps, with this in mind, some of the overly stubborn and resistant relatives we may have known, can be seen now to be also telling another story.