Post #1565142
2026-03-29 21:55 UTC
Another common reaction, which is another way to avoid the confrontation (and scapegoating is itself a kind of conflict avoidance) is that the person will not accept that what they complained about has anything to do about you. "You're not that kind of person!" they'll say. Here it really is important that you did your work and actually found a part of yourself that can identify with the scapegoat and didn't jump in too fast. (If you went in like that, the whole thing will backfire now).
Replies (1)
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@malte@radikal.social 2026-03-29 21:58
You'll have to get hold of that part of you that can identify with the scapegoat and then describe it sincerely. I think that's where the exploration between them and I usually begins. The amazing thing is that I often learn something and end up getting corrective feedback about myself. If you go into this kind of situation with the assumption that it is only the other person who needs to learn something, you're kind of scapegoating them ("they're the whole problem").