Post #1443401

@eleanor Those are all well and good, but what of those of us who want to earn our crimes, instead of having them handed to us? Is it really so much to ask that we be allowed to have a dramatic showdown with a man dressed in a bat costume after we steal the stuffed sharks from every Ikea in the state? To reenact the bullriding scene from Dr. Strangelove, directly into Rowling's castle? I've already peed in a womens' restroom in multiple federal buildings, and federal crimes should not feel so unsatisfying. I need more, dammit.