Post #1117038

2026-03-18 12:02 UTC

Mom, Dad, and I prepared for this (legal trust, final wishes, etc). Still, there is A LOT that can’t be done until the person actually dies. I’ve got a couple of weeks of bereavement leave. It turns out that I need most of that just to make a dent in the needful. Yesterday: - Returned tarp to fire department. They let us keep it temporarily because they didn’t want to cause Mom any more pain by having to roll her to get it back after transferring her to the hospital bed. - Dropped coins at bank. - Dropped hats, purses, shoes, and baskets at the non-profit thrift store. (Funds go to “Meals on Wheels”.) - Picked up free, empty boxes at grocery store. - Put deposit down on venue for memorial and designed invitation to be sent out. - Did some paperwork related to opening a new bank account. - Took nap. Today - Lawyer - Grocery - Standing around trying to remember what I meant to do.

Replies (3)

@alysonsee@sunny.garden 2026-03-23 14:40

Yesterday, I sent ~75 email invitations for the memorial. I’ve got more phone calls to make to notify people for whom I don’t have email addresses. And printed invitations will go out to everyone on her Christmas card list. (Sending cards was important to Mom.) Those should arrive this coming Thursday. I picked up the death certificate on Friday afternoon, which means this week will be about the legal stuff. I opened a new bank account last week so that the joint stuff that I had with Mom stays completely separate from my transactions going forward. (Our joint one will likely need to be put into an administrative account for legal tracking purposes.) And any expenses that were funded by the joint account now become my expenses that will need to be changed to come out of my individual account (e.g., utilities). And, of course, any deposits courtesy of Mom into the joint account need to stop (e.g., social security). And those agencies will require a copy of the death certificate.

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@alysonsee@sunny.garden 2026-03-26 11:25

Yesterday, I picked up Mom’s cremains and enough scones from the neighboring bakery to feed my feelings for a few days. I moved Dad’s box from Mom’s bedroom to my room, and now their cremains are side by side. I met with a real estate agent to get a sense of what I should freshen up and what I should leave as is when I finally go to sell the house (in maybe a year). And I met with the estate lawyer who is gonna make sure I don’t screw this up. (The house and joint bank account are owned by my parents’ trust.) Now, I have to learn how to manage a trust, which means I have more on my to-do list.

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@BigGayShaun@mstdn.social 2026-03-18 13:18

@alysonsee@sunny.garden You're doing a great job with this, and I really hope today will have some down time to catch your breath. I know how all this feels and am sending supportive thoughts and vibes your way. One step at a time is how to go.

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