It is done, I am awake and slowly coming around.
No pain, a little nausea from the anaesthetic, but all good.
Went in at 17:00, woke at 20:30, it's taken an hour to feel present and to have some clarity.
Am now hoping for some food.
#deevagina
Remote
Dee
@dee@social.treehouse.systems
mastodon 4.6.7+glitch-thcute things and #kindness makes a nice world to live in. lived 5 decades already, doing the elder figure thing despite starting late, in MILF territory despite not being a mother.
catparent to Orphée and Persephone, listening to music (ex-industry), gaming, mucking around with Go, Rust and keeping CPUs warm (still in this industry), cycling, photography, architecture, fashion, history, philosophy, reading, astrophotography, stargazing, hiking, self-hosting... hmm, might have ADHD 👀 always tired and eepy as doing too much.
if you spread love, it comes back to you many times over. open to all forms of connection, good people enrich life
follow requests have a high approval rate, I really only reject blank profiles, AI profiles, techbros, and those who only have negativity and anger to share - as I don't want to contribute to that... share love, not hate.
Signal: dee.73
🏳️⚧️
1740 Followers
1452 Following
50 Posts
Joined January 01, 2023
Pronouns:
she/her
Adjectives:
chaotic, energetic, affectionate
Home:
London, UK
Born:
CO2 330ppm
Kind words:
Welcomed
🐣:
2023-10-01
💊:
2024-03-08
🌮:
2026-09-14
yay, Elastica are back and going to release new music.
Elastica... the band who almost run my sorry homeless ass over when I was sleeping in the Hacienda car park in late 1993, and apologised by feeding me from their rider before then shooting me a lot during Laserquest.
I went on tour with them many times, and they never made one bad record and in Justin Welch they have the best drummer I ever saw, and in Annie one of the best bassists (ignoring problems with drugs)... and in Donna a gem of a person so creative on guitar...
and Justine. Justine was so unfuckingbelievably kind, like, you don't know how much. I called her up one time as I needed to sell some records at the tape exchange so that I could eat yet I didn't have any ID so they wouldn't accept the sale. she came and met me, refused to give her ID but instead just gave me more money than I needed.
she also had this really strong cohort of intelligent women as friends, you definitely know some of them (now famous artists and musicians)... and she never wanted fame.
yet that first album... every song is excellent. and because I know the people behind a lot of the songs I like the songs even more (usually the reverse happens when you know the people).
my favourite song on that album was called Blue, which became the name of a fanzine I sold to keep myself alive and feed myself.
3 days to surgery and I think being off hormones has caused a mild depression, which has resulted in me apparently saying no to all hospital visits and basically opting to do the entire recovery effectively solo. Depression is mean, fear of being rejected is mean, fear of being a burden to others is mean. I suspect you all hate me anyway (depression is really mean).
But I guess at this point I'm doing it solo 🤷♀️
Edit: I'm not fishing for attention, I'm just sharing what my brain does when there's no estrogen in my body. I can't wait to start hormones again after surgery. Having to stop hormones is cruel.
#deevagina
lewd
Hey everyone say hi to @sena@chaosfem.tw who is new to fedi.
Recently egg cracked, just started HRT and living in Tokyo, and very disconnected from any trans community as things are different in Japan especially if you are a Westerner.
We spent most of yesterday evening chatting about the first year and beyond on estrogen, providing tips that help navigate various stages, and also talking about how difficult it is to feel connected to community.
So I recommended fedi... Which is not a silver bullet at all, it takes effort to learn how to use it and build up a good list of people to follow, etc, and this timezone is quieter than the European and American timezones. But it's how I found community so I'm hoping it works for her too.
If you're on an Asia timezone please consider following her and helping her to settle in.
Also she's nervous and shy, it's cute.
Wow, just eaten my first full meal in 5 days, and I really needed that. I already feel like I'm more alive.
trans, mh, dysphoria,weight
Replying to
Slept in the hotel lobby and they didn't even notice.
Now I've got my room and it turns out all I needed was a shower and to take my meds. Feeling energetic now so will go explore Tokyo
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It's hard not to start thinking things like: was it the shorts? Did the shoes give me away? Did I have a stubble shadow?
To enumerate the things that made me clockable.
To wonder whether I should go punk, tactical, or something else inherently more intimidating to others.
Feeling attractive and soft made it hurt more. I was disarmed, I didn't expect it close to home 😥
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Now it's the morning after, I'm calmer but still upset.
I've reported it to the Met Police as a hate crime.
I am sure nothing will come of it, but I refuse to just accept it as something that happens and that it's ok.
Is there such a thing as rfid airtags?
I want to put rfid stickers on a bunch of things, register what those things are in an app, and then register what I have on me.
I.e. stickers on things I travel with, down to nice shampoo and conditioner, and then when I do a scan it will create a collection switch I can call "hotel room", and after I leave the room I can scan and it will tell me what it can't find... I.e. that I've left the expensive conditioner again.
Not full airtags, but way cheaper and more useful for lots of small things
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update: officers coming over today to interview me.
I'll again ignore the fact that they emailed me to say "due to the extreme prejudicial nature of this incident we would like an officer to interview you in person, please call 101 and quote this number" and then on the call, the officer proceeded to call me "Sir" 8 times despite my explicitly telling him not to.
the path to a successful hate crime report involves multiple small psychic injuries.
I really get why people just do not report things.
I'll be on the flight to Tokyo tomorrow, it will all be fine 😮💨
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Some of you know, because I've told you, that I use Grindr as a travel app.
Touch down, open Grindr, filter to the girls... Ask them where is safe, how things work, etc. Trans helps trans, it's great.
But I've been here before, I came with my partner who lived here for years and years, so I know where to go.
Yet still I'm wondering... Would trans helping trans include someone letting me crash in their air conditioned apartment until my hotel check in opens. No play, just snoozing 😂 would Grindr deliver that I wonder... Though I don't wonder enough to try, it's just amusing a thought to a sleep deprived and hot me.
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Am awake and dressed... About to go to breakfast and realise I've dressed for a date night. I look hot.
That's right, I've a date with breakfast.
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and my weekly calendar summary has this to say about tomorrow:
Tuesday is the crunch day: 12 meetings back-to-back, 9am to 7:55pm, no gaps
😭
11 hours, no lunch, no break.
Career advice: Don't become a people manager, definitely avoid progressing as a people manager.
My talk at the festival (bodgeham-on-wye) within the festival (#emfcamp) had been accepted.
Confirmation of time to follow.
It's an Ad-lib story telling of my origin story in tech, which for reasons that don't make a lot of sense involved a sizeable part of the mid 1990s music industry and some fun stories about how I won a Brit award and other shenanigans.
It will not be recorded.
Do we think this deodorises the toilet or my ass? 🤔
Replying to
As is fairly typical for 5 star hotels, the room sucks 😂
The place in Shibuya was only 4 star and was a massive step up from this.
I swear 5 star hotels mostly exist to test someone's willingness to pay, and that they are frequently bested by 3-4 star places.
What most people don't realise is the stars are not a rating system, they're just a checklist for whether there's a trouser press in the room, and a gown, etc. nothing in the rating says the room has to be nice.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotel_rating
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Oh and I'm too early for check-in, so I've sat in a chair directly facing the check-in desk and I will wait the next 3 hours or until they're very uncomfortable with my presence and choose to check me in... Whichever comes soonest
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I've made it to 20:35, cannot last any longer, sleep beckons.
Saw the Tokyo hackspace is being refurbished, so instead shopping in Harajuku is on the menu, as well as a visit to an extinct media museum I only learned about today
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Omg, it's so hot
It's 7am and it's really hot already 🥵
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I like the fact that a small group of people know exactly what shenanigans this is.
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I'm so overdressed 😂
People, you can do better!
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Have found a coffee shop, it's barely cooler inside but the sun is scorching outside. Air conditioned shops aren't open until 11am... It's going to be a long day, I will need to hydrate a lot.
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@May@lgbtqia.space @iamada@tech.lgbt my cats are happy so long as I feed them first thing.
I'm happy so long as someone in the bed gives... Intimate hugs 👀🥰 but then the cats have to wait and then they're grumpy.
just one more discord, that'll fix me, I swear, just one more and then I'm done
Replying to
@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space it kinda is.
but it's also the role where I best protect others like me and shape the work to best fit each person.
I feel like I do a lot of good in this role, and that when I make each individual more successful I get one of the most high performing teams... which keeps us all safe and doing well.
but there's a lot for me to be the shield for.
you know that meme of the big armoured guy protecting the small guy... that feels like me in this role, enough experience and trauma to take all the punches and not feel them whilst protecting the team and everyone around.
Two weeks to needing to stopping HRT 4 weeks before bottom surgery... My levels were very high and it's a DVT risk amplifier.
I know this means stopping estrogen, but does it mean stopping progesterone too? 🤔
I've no real clue as to the effect of this, I assume an emotional crash. Anyone been through this?
#deevagina
Feeling a bit isolated and lonely in Tokyo, would've been nice to meet people and have a chat and be social. I figure work will kick in today, but that's not the same as chatting to queer and fun folk.
On the 9th August I arrive in Toronto, and have the Sunday evening free. Do I know anyone in Toronto who might want to grab a bite to eat and chat for a while?
I've done the very gay thing of buying some clothes because I thought they were sexy and hot (a certain colourway of Strauss)... only to be told this is the colourway my partner has.
I am dumb, I am very gay for her, it was snuck into my subconscious so far as to say "that colourway is really hot, you should get it"... I am gay for her.
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@tragivictoria@mastodon.com.pl that sounds like a good day (you're in bed out of choice, right?)
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anyone who works somewhere cool where you think "we should've sponsored emfcamp"... go back and rave about how good 2026 is and sow the seed now for sponsoring in a couple of years.
tell your boss, or their boss, and get them to commit to supporting the hacker / maker community in a couple of years.
then DM me their details so I can know to keep the leads warm, meet them at the various industry events in the intervening years, and make it happen come 2028.
usual caveats on good companies only pls
I just accidentally missed my mouth and poured water down myself.
How's your day going?
Replying to
May go sleep on the street for a couple of hours. So tired.
Finally in my post-EMF "let's think about the next bit of travel" mode, looking up weather in Tokyo.
It'll be 34-40'c with tropical thunderstorms and torrential rain.
My wardrobe has nothing for this combination... I fly in 48 hours and have no chance to change this.