Sidal ♀️🇨🇦

I'm getting flashbacks from violence in my family, and I'm shocked how come I didn't ask for help. When I told what happened in the home to my peers they were all shocked. Every time I remember these flashbacks I'm getting traumatized, sad, and angry again... And my family took me to a therapist like "why is this kid depressed?", they never mentioned their violence against me... I couldn't mention either because they told me "never tell what happens inside home", part of shitty Turkish culture... Can you imagine what kind of psychopaths I grew up with? I'm having anger attacks whenever I remember. The police took me to CAMH with reverse handcuff after I broke their TV. I really wanted to kill my mom that night but I can't because I will end up in prison. I have nothing to cope with because I lost everything... I remember my dad's monster appearance, his loud disgusting haunting voice, endless slurs, bullying, humiliating, spitting on me, hitting and breaking stick on me, disgusting face that disfigured from anger/hate, his heavy hands that he was hitting me until my nose was bleeding... And I'm living with my mom and sister who still think "I'm overreacting, these are normal." ...

I stopped eating too. My sister just said I lost weight. I don't even sleep due to stress. I wish I was never born... Nobody gives a fuck about me...

"cis women also hate their bodies" None of them look like a troon so it's impossible for them to be ugly. If you're a cis woman, and if you doubt you look bad, then you don't. You can't look worse than a trans woman.

It still feels like I'm never gonna be happy again... And this is realistic.

I can start hating my repper mindset. I'm safe in Canada. I can be myself again. I don't have to repress myself anymore. Yeah. ♥️ I'm safe.

It wasn't that bad before age 15.