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  It is said that your life flashes before your eyes before you die. That is true, it's called Life. #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘Laughing in the face of danger is not a survival strategy,’ said the god. ‘Oh, they don’t laugh,’ said Ponder gloomily. ‘They say things like, “you call that dangerous? It’s not a patch on the kind of danger you used to get when we were lads, eh, Senior Wrangler, what what?’ (Last Continent) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Granny Weatherwax’s approach to foreign tongues was to repeat herself loudly and slowly. (Witches Abroad) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘I’m not dependable. Even I don’t depend on me, and I’m me.’ (Interesting Times) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  What a mess the world was in, Vimes reflected. Constable Visit had told him the meek would inherit it, and what had the poor devils done to deserve that? (Feet of Clay) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  She had found them lodgings in The Shades, an ancient part of the city whose inhabitants were largely nocturnal and never inquired about one another’s business because curiosity not only killed the cat but threw it in the river with weights tied to its feet. (Equal Rites) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  “In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.” (Lords and Ladies) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Death began to feel that he wouldn’t understand people as long as he lived. (Mort) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  And he was pretty sure that there was no way you could get a cross between a human and a sheep. If there was, people would definitely have found out by now, especially in the more isolated rural districts. (Last Continent) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  'I hate it when people are nice to me. It means something bad is going to happen.' (Interesting Times) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. (Jingo) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Troll gambling is even simpler than Australian gambling. One of the most popular games is One Up, which consists of throwing a coin in the air and betting on whether it will come down again. (Soul Music) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly,’ said Granny, fleeing into aphorisms, the last refuge of an adult under siege. (Equal Rites) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  No one had asked her, before she was born, whether she’d want a lovely personality or whether she’d prefer, say, a miserable personality but a body that could take size 9 in dresses. Instead, people would take pains to tell her that beauty was only skin-deep, as if a man ever fell for an attractive pair of kidneys. (Maskerade) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Zoon tribes are very proud of their Liars. Other races get very annoyed about all this. They feel that the Zoon ought to have adopted more suitable titles, like ‘diplomat’ or ‘public relations officer’. They feel they are poking fun at the whole thing. (Equal Rites) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘Down there,’ he said, ‘are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don’t say no.’ (Guards Guards) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” (Diggers) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘Million-to-one chances,’ she said, ‘crop up nine times out of ten.’ (Equal Rites) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  The people who really run organisations are usually found several levels down, where it’s still possible to get things done. (Small Gods) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.’ (Hogfather) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny. (Reaper Man) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel? To my juvenile eyes Darwin was proved true every day. It doesn't take much to make us flip back into monkeys again. #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  The Bursar was not technically insane. He had passed through the rapids of insanity some time previously, and was now sculling around in some peaceful pool on the other side. He was often quite coherent, although not by normal human standards. (Interesting Times) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  “I meant,” said Ipslore bitterly, “what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?” Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.” (Sourcery) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  It was such a relief to be right, even though you knew you'd only got there by trying every possible way to be wrong. (Feet of Clay) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  ‘Foolish child. All you could tell was that he thought he was telling the truth. The world isn’t always as people see it.’ (Equal Rites) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Walter’s face was an agony of indecision but, erratic though his thinking might have been, it was no match for Nanny Ogg’s meretricious duplicity. He was up against a mind that regarded truth as a reference point but certainly not as a shackle. Nanny Ogg could think her way through a corkscrew in a tornado without touching the sides. (Maskerade) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot

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  Miss Eulalie Butts and her colleague, Miss Delcross, had founded the college on the astonishing idea that, since gels had nothing much to do until someone married them, they might as well occupy themselves with learning things. (Soul Music) #TerryPratchett #quotes #quote #bot