ShawnT 🔧🐀
phaysis@mastodon.coffee
<p>King of Fixing Things <a href="https://mastodon.coffee/tags/RatVerified" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>RatVerified</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.coffee/tags/ComputerToucher" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>ComputerToucher</span></a></p>
Posts
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Post #4439597
Whenever I drop a morsel of food on the floor, desk, or any other 5-second-rule zone, I always, WITHOUT FAIL, say, "Aw maaan, that was the BEST PIECE." Always. And there's never anyone around but me to laugh. But I commit to the bit because I have standards.
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Post #4421589
If you cut down a Flock camera, for the love of God, don't leave it there on the ground. Take it offsite, dump it in a ravine or river or dumpster or something. Make it unretrievable.
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Post #4303423
My chair has a lever that drops me down closer to my noodles. My ancestors never dreamed of this kind of luxury.
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Post #4183722
I have eaten so much food today! * * every day
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Post #4078140
I pooped and it formed a pentagram, send for the priest.
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Post #3993591
Today I Learned: In the state of Texas, if you pay for medications and take them out of the pharmacy, and later learn you don't need them, you cannot return them to the pharmacy for a refund, even if they are unopened. Now you know too. Anybody looking for a pharmaceutical-strength laxative? I know a guy. #TodayILearned
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Post #3850330
He died how he lived: crushed under a heavy weight.
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Post #3744464
Hot singles are in your wallet! CLICK HERE to give them to me!
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Post #2513259
Some soup soaked into my moustache and then dripped onto the front of my shirt. When I saw it, I almost choked on my soup. Clearly, having soup is the best idea of my day.
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Post #2450458
I wonder if there was an explosion at the Jimmy Dean link pork sausage plant, because #HEB has been out of it for the past 2 weeks. Not even an empty spot in the display case where it would&#39;ve been (otherwise that&#39;d indicate online orders buy it all up before I get there). But then again HEB does that when they can&#39;t order products to carry at the price they want. This is the future, and the future is now, I guess. #AustinTX
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Post #2450457
Leguke, I am your farter!
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Post #2450456
Gunter Gleeben Glouten Globen
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Post #2450453
Oh fun. My bank just notified me that they raised my credit limit on my bank card. Which is fortuitous, because that&#39;s the amount I need to spend to build my own fileserver now. Serendipity! 🌈
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Post #2241818
Yo gurl are you the Notre Dame? Because yo buttresses are FLYIN.
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Post #2032525
eating baked beans and a ham sandwich for dinner on a monday night, because nothing means anything anymore and you&#39;re not my real dad.
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Post #1940023
Why no Gandalf the Black?
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Post #1940021
I dunno, guys, but I have my doubts about King Charles knowing the average airspeed velocity of any unladened swallow, no matter the regional species.
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Post #1940019
Yakiudon Wakiudon &amp; Dotiudon
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Post #1940017
May 3rd, 2026: I update the copyright date on my blog to 2026. I Am On Top of Things.
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Post #1250146
HE IS RIZZIN&#39;!
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Post #683924
Only 24 minutes left in #BandcampFriday because California Pacific Time is the only timezone that matters now.