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• Post #4261448

  me: how bout I go slip into something more comfortable my DM girlfriend: hmm, give me a Charisma check

• Post #4261447

  desk with 5 computers, 7 monitors, and an automobile stick shift (with clutch) that switches the keyboard & mouse input between devices

• Post #4261446

  taking my shoes off & throwing them in the lake

• Post #4003729

  garlics have succubus energy cause they're dressed in layers of seductive white silk but underneath it all lies a stinky little witch who'll haunt your dreams & drive you mad with longing

• Post #4003688

  Us Weekly vs Them Magazine

• Post #4003631

  honey came in and she caught me red-handed evolving toward a crablike form picture this: we become crustaceans walking on the ocean floor

• Post #3975685

  someone stole both wheels off my bike today at the kc streetcar stop >:|

• Post #3931081

  licking envelopes is wild. there should be more stuff you have to lick to use

• Post #3925014

  bringing back the 3.5mm audio jack is no longer enough. i expext my next phone to have separate L/R quarter-inch audio outputs

• Post #3912027

  a death cab for every cutie

• Post #3887578

  the only truly secure method of age verificiation is an 18-year load time

• Post #3846516

  fedi inspo influencer: today we're defederating from all the negative energy and stress

• Post #3820075

  i die & the lawyers open up my will. it's 734 pages. I've willed each of my fedi posts to a different person

• Post #3766123

  bookmobiles are rad but when will the public library finally build a mech

• Post #3750721

  I read "This Is How You Lose The Time War" today -- it's nice. Poetically written, emotional, sweet. would have been cool to've gotten to read it when it was originally released encoded into a smattering of errant snowflakes that fell on a frozen pond in wisconsin during a cold spell in 1837

• Post #3699043

  a resume is just a dating app bio for jobs

• Post #3653403

  mall store called "The Internet" so you can say stuff like 'I got this shirt from The Internet'

• Post #3570255

  my theory is that every one-syllable word is a type of fish, we may just not realize it yet

• Post #3555456

  every time a fedi poll ends the winner becomes the new president or constitutional amendment or what have you. until the next poll ends

• Post #3539869

  just an FYI that after this 4th of July fireworks will not be cool for celebrating things anymore. the next big thing to do on special occasions will be Sitting In A Circle And Talking Quietly Amongst Yourselves

• Post #3457380

  in my remake of the X-Files the Smoking Man will eat baby carrots instead of smoking. they will call him "The Baby Carrot Man" except for Mulder, who will call him "Baby Carotene"

• Post #3455013

  need to declutter but can't afford all those expensive shelves and containers and drawers? try storing everything in One Big Pile. One Big Pile, the zero-cost life hack that can freshen up your space in no time! try One Big Pile today

• Post #3428132

  Hot Girl Summer but like as a deity in the same pantheon as Old Man Winter

• Post #3101789

  ideal feedback loop optimized UI design with nothing but 1 big button (which does the statistically most likely desired task) and 3 words (whichever 3 are statistically most likely to be helpful)

• Post #3101788

  math rock english folk art pop science jazz history punk gymcore music-fi healthwave post-industrial tech

• Post #3101787

  bikelist

• Post #3101786

  barcode? is that some kinda speakeasy thing

• Post #2703393

  eating my fourth absolutely enormous, heaping, falling out of the bowl salad of the week, cause my friend gave me romaine & arugula from their garden & I gotta like, eat it all, before it goes bad

• Post #2703392

  ah the noble orca. one of the few animals whose name Swedish Chef can pronounce perfectly clearly

• Post #2703391

  I love random generators & random generator bots. If you think about it, they're kinda like the opposite of genAI. They mash together some random prompt & then send it out there for us to bring to life with our imaginations